My Past

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I try so hard

To forget the days that have kept me down

But whatever I do

Whatever I try

The time of sadness crawls back to me

The edge draws near

And I’m standing at it’s tip

The reason of my hatred

Violence

Threats

Towards my own self

If only I had confided

And caged this monster that crawls in my way

That puts itself in my path

I have to wait

Wait for it to pass like I did last time

Beat myself up but let it do what it does

Feel the scars and wounds

Whips of screams

I can’t stop them leaking out

Time can be my friend

But it sends me through trials upon trials

To see if I really deserve the happiness I want in the end

Waiting hurts

It claws down my spine

But you never know if the waiting may be worth it

If the pain you went through caused anything better

For the future you grasp for

But it keeps coming back

No matter how much harder I grab onto the happiness I got to hold

For once in my life

Please leave me alone

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