A Memoir Of Failed Dreams// Sirius' Life

1-The One In Which My Brother Star Is Born

My Mother was hurting that day, I was 2 years old. I remember hearing her scream, she said that it was her 'tummy', I was  going to be a big brother, It was a mistake to feel happy that day now that I look back and realise, It was the day she lost her sanity.

I was scared, all I could think was 'Is Mother going to get hurt?' Why, tell me, did I ever care for that Woman I called Mother.

I remember trembling up the stairs to give her a daisy I had picked for her on my daily walk with my Governess- gods what a nightmare she was-, it was a bit mangled and looked drained of life but I was sure that 'Mother Dearest' was going to be fine with anything I brought to her, she was my Mother after all, right?

I tripped up about half-way up the stairs, the screams had stopped... a shot of panic rushed through me "Mother!" I screamed,  blindly and stupidly scared for her life and then I heard the ugly cry of a baby, my brother Regulus had finally pushed his way out of our Mother and entered the horrible thing called life.

I remember getting up off of the staircase and rushing all the way up the rest of the cold, hard, marble staircase dropping the mangled daisy along my way in a blind rush of glee, happy that I was an older sibling, I did not realise the burden that this role in my family would bring upon me in the years to come.

I finally reached the top of the staircase in the building that I called 'home', a pale light from the tip of Mother's wand glowed gently, creating a false hope that the atmosphere was calm and welcoming.

"Why hello Sirius" she said to me, her tone tinted with unruffled calm, "Why don't you come see your brother, Regulus Arcturus Black" she creened, her finger gently pressing on my face, she proceeded to trace her finger around my face in an odd fashion that discomforts me even now when I think back to this day.

"Mother why does Reggie have such an odd name?" I perkily asked my idol, oblivious to the fact that my Mother was not in her right mind and would snap at anything. Her face started to twitch, her nostrils flared up "How dare you, how dare yo-" she started to belt at me, tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to stream down my face, "Ah, now lets not be too hasty Walburga" she had clearly lost her mind now, talking to herself... "Why don't we think of a suitable punishment for insolent little boy Sirius her... hmm lets see..." she mumbled to herself under her breath continuing to talk to herself, " AH yes... CRUCIO" she bellowed.

My body fell to the ground, attacked by a pain I had never experienced before, I would go so far as even to call it excruciating, I writhed for a while upon the stone-cold slate floor of my Mother's room, it felt like knives were piercing my soft, white skin, then, the pain stopped. A rush of relief ran through me, I stood up and hung my head, furiously trying to think what I had done wrong, to deserve this corporal punishment.

"You dare disrespect the tradition of our Black family to name our children after the many beautiful, pure constellations of the night sky, in hope that our children will too keep the purity of their family as the stars did for theirs" she murmured into my ear, edging closer and closer with each word she uttered, I could feel the wetness of her breaths settling on the side of my face, my eyes gave in, the tears I had kept in before rushed out, like a river, only without the greatness, just the broken shell of a young boy who want to please his mother.

"Now, away, out of my face, NOW YOU IMBECILE" she hollered at as much volume her post-birth body would allow her to.

With tears gushing out of my eyes, no longer a river and now a waterfall, I stumbled out of the room and rush into mine, "so" I thought "The breaking of my spirit has begun"

I was only 2 years old, a mere babe.

But that did not matter.

All that mattered was that she trained the spirit out of me.

A/N Hey, this is a new story I have started writing, I will not be posting from Wednesday the 19th May 2021 to Tuesday the 25th May 2021 as I have end of year exams, so I crammed as much as I could into this first chapter, I hope you enjoyed, please leave comments and votes and your opinions! Thank You <3 (btw the wolfstar is going to be a slow burn sorry D:)