Unrequited Love For You

...I feel like I am going to die at that very moment.

Date: 2012 April 30 - 11 days remaining

Jack's perspective

I woke up from my constant interrupted sleep, feeling inadequate as always. Funny how just a few days ago, I didn't care about my condition. But as the days progressed...

Everything seemed to be falling apart and what I wanted to do, didn't sound appealing anymore. But I had to move, to make the most of it, to waste the money I saved for my once bright future until it emptied my pockets, to create memories before my soul leaves the world.

But what was the use of creating memories without the ones I loved?

My love for my family, friends, and for him...it's unrequited, all of them. I could make a million essays of how much they mean to me, how important they are all to me and it wouldn't still be enough. 

But to their eyes, I was just another person they'd get over once I was gone. 

So I tried to make their job easier by pushing them away, but for some reason...some would try to be stubborn and refused to leave me. I'm not important in anyone else's life, why did they bother to come back to me? 

Please stop coming back, leave me be. It'd make things easier for the both of us, especially for you.

I went down the stairs and saw Lucile eating her cereal. It was finally the day we'd join Melanie for the animal shelter.  

I know I said I wanted to push everyone away, but I didn't want to scar Lucile into thinking love is toxic and she'd isolate herself from everyone because of that. 

Throughout my life, no matter how our parents tried to keep us apart, I had influenced Lucile a lot growing up and it was my responsibility to let her know that her assumption about love is wrong and it's beautiful to love...as long as you don't expect them to love you back.

"Good morning, Lucy." 

"'Morning Jack..." 

I took a seat next to her, she wasn't as bubbly and sarcastic as she would usually be; she looked as if our uncle stabbed her favourite doll and burned into the oven right in front of her very eyes -- in short, she had a mournful face while staring off at her cereal.

"Are you ready for later?" I said. I asked her to join me on the volunteering the day after she confessed her burning hatred against me. 

Surprisingly, she responded really well...aside from chucking her barbie unicorn the moment I stepped into her room, she accepted my offer. 

"I have no choice, it will be the last time we'll spend together." she muttered under her breath, she blinked way too many times and her breathing slightly hitched. What? Was she gonna cry again? What for? 

Nevertheless I...hesitantly pat her head in attempt to reassure her. "I promise it'll be worthwhile."

Lucile only gave me a doubt and teary smile before turning back to her cereal. 

A fresh stack of blueberry pancakes were placed at my sight. I gazed up to see mother putting a glass of milk down, she looked stressed...but also oddly motherly at the same time.

She would always wear a small bun and her usual suit to work, but that morning she had her hair down, none of her overwhelming make up, wore the same dress she had when she was pregnant with Lucile. "Here's some pancakes."

"Oh...okay." I automatically push the pancakes towards Lucile. "Hey, mother made you pancakes." but my sister shook her head and pushed the plate back to me. What...?