Fall, Falling, Fallen

Ms. Perkins

As the rest of the week went by, I found myself walking with ease in the hallways between classes. Everybody was settling into a set pattern as I could make out the same faces every day. Routine made the week fly by and before I knew it it was Friday and sixth hour. Jess has stayed sitting next to me and despite the fact I had scored a total of 1.25 points more than her on the test. The morning announcements had changed our plans for tonight with the game being delayed until tomorrow night with a storm that was approaching. I looked out the window seeing that the clouds were beginning to paint the sky a grey blocking the sun from painting diagrams on the test. I closed my eyes and rested my head down waiting for the bell to ring and class to start.

"You okay Tilly?" Ms. Perkins asked placing a hand on my shoulder as she walked by.

"Oh yeah," I quickly replied sitting up.

"Just tired because it's Friday" She replied with a small laugh. She took a seat on the desk in front of me and faced me.

"Yeah," I shrugged.

"Well it will be an easy class," She replied, "I wanted to end the week on an easier note."

"Okay," I smiled.

She gave me a nod and got up continuing walking back up the front of the room waiting for the remainder of the students to take their seats. I rested my head back down feeling eyes still on me. I was fine, just tired after a long week in a new place. I had a friend and classes were going well. That's what mattered.

The bell rang and Ms. Perkins immediately started, "So class. We've all made it through our first week. Well almost, I guess. As a reminder, the football game has been moved to tomorrow so no sicking around school afterward."

"Go bulldogs," Collin yelled out getting a reaction from Jack.

Ms. Perkins looked not that amused, "Thank you Collin for reminding us what our school mascot is. So I wanted to make this day a little easier for you. I figured we could all use a slight break and maybe we could do something more fun, maybe at least reflective."

I frowned thinking about what that would be.

"I would like everyone to write a letter, a poem, anything," Ms. Perkins began, "That tells about who you are, but not directly. Make me have to ask you questions. I would love to get to know you each a bit better so we are each going to write one today in class and then over the weekend I am going to come up with some questions for all of you. But first, I will go and then you can ask me questions from it."

I relaxed back against the chair thinking about what I could write. Ms. Perkins had taken her notebook and sat down on top of her desk, dangling her legs off the side.

"So," Ms. Perkins said drawing in a breath. "I wrote a letter to myself when I was your age."

She looked around the room at us before picking up her notebook, her brown hair hanging from behind her ears.

"So here we go," Ms. Perkins said. "Dear fifteen-year-old me. Yeah, the middle part sucks and you are probably obsessing over it right now, but you are about to force yourself into so many more terrible trends before it gets better. But stop obsessing over your look and what everyone else around says or thinks. Take a breath, go for a walk, and let yourself freak out a little. But when you hit that mountain cliff just sit down and take in the view. Just look around you and listen to that little voice in the back of your head and let it grow. You don't have to let the frontward voice of what others want you to say guide you. Go lay down in a field of ferns and foster that voice. And don't let other expectations, rules, and written plot cause you to pause, break, and fall. But when you do, you'll be fine with that little voice in your head. You will be fine. The purpose others have given you isn't the one you've given yourself. So take a breath, go far a walk, and dream. You'll find your way and the path that's right, the path that might ever so be changing and one you don't know the last page too, or five pages ahead. But you will be fine, and you will be happy, so wipe those tears away, go back to class, and speak your mind. Foster your story and your voice. You have that choice."