feelings | quackity

eight

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its been almost two weeks since i started ignoring alex. but it honestly felt like forever. i missed his jokes and the way he held me in his arms, but i also need to always put myself first. and i'm not letting anyone fuck me up again.

i was scrolling through my instagram, when i saw that george went live. i got my laptop and went to twitch, i clicked on georges stream, he was just running around the dream smp, with clay, tommy and tubbo. he was smiling ear to ear and that made me happy, they were having so much fun, i smiled to myself and continued to watch the stream.

,,AYYYY BIG Q"

i froze hearing those words from tommys mouth, i saw george turn around and there was alexs character, running towards him, george smiled widely as he started clicking him. he started clicking back.

,,hola jorge!!" alex yelled, he sounded so happy and excited, i loved this side of him. george was laughing like crazy with alex, everyone was. his personality is, just so unique, he is so kind and understanding, but still funny as fuck, and annoying sometimes. i saw alex running around with his diamond yeezys and george was chasing him with his sword with clay and tommy behind him.

,,y/n is laughing like crazy george, do you hear that?" clay asked, i immediately stopped laughing forming my lips in a straight line.
,,yeah, she is lurking" george said in his british accent.
,,she is lurking your honor" alex said and the group started laughing.
,,dream, why dont you call y/n over, we wanna hear some words from the women herself! BIG Y/N AM I RIGHT BOYS?" tommy shouted, his voice getting lower at the end, everyone was smiling or laughing, but believe me, i wasnt.

,,y/n, we know you're listening, come to my room to say hi to chat!" george said, waving at his camera and smiling.

i rolled my eyes and put my laptop down to my bed, i fixed my hair a little bit and went to georges room, i opened the door just staring at him, he started laughing.

,,so you were watching! that's actually so funny, come say hi to the stream and the boys!" george laughed his ass off, as i walked up to the camera and waved, and smiled of course. the chat was spamming hi's and aw's. it was mostly filled with compliments which made my heart flutter. george got me a chair we got in his room, and got me spare headphones.

,,ok, they can hear you now, talk to the microphone you know the drill, guys. listen,
y/n is here, everyone is here, lets go" george said throwing his hands in the air. i looked at his monitor one which was for minecrat and the other one where was chat.

,,hi besties!" i yelled into the microphone, dragging the s.

,,BIG Y/N, my favorite non american woman!" tommy laughed
,,hi tommy! my favorite british child!" i mocked his accent, alex started laughing. tommy sighed, i could tell he was rolling his eyes mumbling a little 'whatever'
,,hi tubbo!" i said and he greeted me back sweetly, i heard the sound of someone joining the call and saw sapnap and karl.
,,Y/N MY BELOVED! MY ACTUAL BELOVED!" karl shouted making me laugh, sapnap said hi as well.

,,you look so pretty y/n."

everyone went quiet, alexs words just shut everyone up. even the chat was shocked, until everyone started spamming 'wwwhat' 'omg' 'big q has a crushh' 'y/n and quackity pog?', his voice just got so fucking deep and, ngl i loved it.

,,what the actual fuck quackity" all of the sudden everyone busted out laughing, including alex. we talked and streamed for another 30 minutes, but alex just told us that he has to go somewhere, i wonder where he's going? maybe on a date? maybe? i don't know, anyways, i shouldn't even care. we streamed for another hour, until the bell rang.

,,that's for me!" clay yelled as me and george turned to face the door and saw him in the doorway, going to open the door. i heard him open the door as george and i said our goodbyes to the stream.
george walked out of his room, leaving me and my thoughts alone.
where was alex? what was he doing? am i being dumb? why do i care?
i just sat there looking at the table, i was lost in my own thoughts.

,,hey"

what the fuck,
what the fuck what the ehciskkdndj.
my head turned to the voice.

fuck.
it was alex.

what the fuck.

my heart started beating so fucking fast i thought he could hear it, my anxiety was going through the roof, my hands started sweating but then i saw him in the doorway.

he looked good,
so god damn good.

he was wearing black jeans, with white fila jacket, it was zipped up and he had his hood up, with his puma beanie. fuck, he looked good.

wait, for how long have i been staring, why am i not saying anything?

,,so you wanna explain why did you ghost me for almost a month?" he asked sitting on georges bed.
,,lets talk about it in my room." i said taking his hand and leading him to my room shutting the door behind us, he looked around my room and smiled as he sat down on the bed. i sat next next to him, trying to figure out words to say. i started to play with my fingers nervously, i signed.

,,okay so, i'm sorry, i really am i just—the way you hold m— i — fuck." i put my head in my hands sighing. he just waited, he didn't interrupt me or anything, he just waited for me to be ready. i took a deep breath.

,,alex" i took his hand ,,im really sorry for ignoring you, it's just — it was — i just felt something and i hate it when i feel something because, i have been fucked over so many times alex, so many fucking times. but you were the only one to make me feel something in so long, so long and i just, i got scared. im scared that, if i fall for you, you will just break my heart and i dont know if i would be able to survive another heartbreak, i'm sorry alex, im just overthinking every little thing, i don't want to ruin our friendship, im so sorry"  i started sobbing uncontrollably. alex cupped my face with his hands making me look at him.

,,mi amór, i would never break your heart. i would never do that in general, but especially to you. you are so precious to me y/n, can't you see that? let's just let this flow and see what happens, i'll wait for you, you are so worth it, okay?" his voice was soft, it sounded like peace to me, his voice was filled with so much love and concern. now the happy tears came, i smiled and put my hand on his cheek slowly caressing it.
,,i just.." i said between sobs

,,i said i'm never catching feelings again, and i'm keeping it that way"

,,we'll see about that"

alex leaned in and kissed me, this kiss was different, it wasn't like the one at the party, this one was filled with love, concern, passion and so many other things. i cupped his cheeks pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

he smiled and pulled away, we both tried to catch our breaths as he stood up, kissed my forehead and walked through the door, turning his head back to me when he was in the doorway he said:
,,text me, i will be waiting" he smirked and left the room, leaving me blushing and confused.

alex fucking quackity, what are you doing to me.