Relief

one

Relief.

A word that keeps coming out from everyone's mouth, but, what is it?

Could it be considered the feeling when you have an important appointment and the bus arrives on time? Or when you think you've lost your phone, only to realize after a few seconds that it was being held by your hand all along?

No, that's not it, it's too easy. It has to be something more pleasing, that makes you feel like your whole body is being lifted only by thinking of it.

I have never felt that.

That was the redhead's main concern while his eyes were fixed, without even blinking, on the screen. Blurry images with different colors flashed in front of him until they became clear, at the same time the sounds and the voices that he thought were coming from outside started to walk in his direction. And all of a sudden, with a flinch, he found himself sitting on a black couch, surrounded by his friends, all focused on the tv. Just like someone kicked him out of his head and sent him back to reality.

His attention shifted towards the small guy with a particular black bang, which sort of reminded him of the haircut he was so proud to have as a child. "Tsutomu, what did you just say?" The words came out calmly, there was a hint of joy in them actually, to mask the confusion inside his head that was making him feel sick.

"Hm?"

He laid down to face the white ceiling, and as his back made contact with the sofa he repeated the question, spelling slowly word for word to make sure he'd hear him this time "What did you say? About the controller?"

"Oh, it's a relief that it works, I've lost count of how many times it fell" Goshiki responded, trying to get rid of a scratch by running his thumb over it.

Right.

"You kinda look like the main character, you know? With his POW! and BANG here, BANG there. Oh and let's not forget the ZAP and KABOOM! Also..." He made sure to give a big emphasis to what he was saying, adding the sound effects with his slim hands.

"Tendou" Semi interrupted him, knowing that he wouldn't stop by himself at any chance.

"Wait really? He's so cool" Ignoring the second guy he widened his eyes and only paid attention to the compliments he was receiving. There was nothing he loved more than being praised by others, especially when Wakatoshi was in the same room. He wanted to show off his traits to him, so that, one day, he would consider him as someone, in fact, cool.

Tendou then raised his head a little to glance at the tv.

"Can we watch the film I brought though? This is boring. It'd be funnier to know what picture did Shirabu show to the barber to get such an asymmetrical bang" A grin appeared on his face as he noticed the blonde friend trying to seem unbothered by his mocking.

"How can you say that if we've just started the damn thing?" Semi snapped at him. "You got to choose yesterday, now it's Ushijima's turn"

He brought his right hand to the knee of the boy sitting next to him to gain his attention. "Wakatoshi, do you really wanna watch this?"

Tendou always liked the guy. He never judged any of his "creepy" actions nor words, because he simply wasn't bothered by them. He was also very intriguing, for example, the fact that he didn't talk much unless he needed to, made the redhair wonder what type of world he had inside. With what colors was it painted? Did he use a pencil or a pen to draw it? And so on, till his imagination could find any other questions about Ushijima's personality. Being best friends with him was kind of a challenge that he didn't mind at all. Yet, he wasn't sure if Wakatoshi considered him as such, but the faces of the others when he told them were priceless.

"Yes"

In response, the sturdy boy received a noisy snort.

Listen to Small Memory
by Jon Hopkins

Later on, when the skirt of the day disappeared, they all went home, except for one of them, still outside.

He refused a ride from Ushijima, deciding he'd walk his way home.

A cold breeze moved the tufts on his forehead while he could not help but admire the beauty surrounding him.

I can hear the sound of my heart beating.

Wow.

What if I screamed?

That would be pretty fun.

The only thing that could be heard was the swaying of the leaves against each other coming from the park at his left. The yellowish ball also did its part: it stood up high in the sky, making fun of you by letting you wonder whether it was close enough to reach it or far far away. Even though she was sort of a bitch, everyone would describe her as beautiful, simply beautiful. In fact, it was like, every day, the boy waited for this game of hide and seek between the moon and the stars to be over so that this little magic moment could happen. At night all the colors were the same and he was a piece of this puzzle, he was part of something that everyone envied.

I feel so pretty right now.

It was unusual for him to perceive himself this way, but apparently not impossible. Sadly, this beautiful thought of slight confidence lived in his head for just a few seconds. It was immediately crushed away, like a hard-kicked ball, leaving space for such a sorrowful word that carried in its shoulder all the memories.

Monster.

And here it is.

The arrow hit the boy's heart with frightening accuracy, and while humming a cheerful song as if nothing just happened, he resumed his pace.

That's what he always does.

Bottle up his emotions.

Bottle up, bottle up, and bottle up until...well, until there's no more air to breathe.