A Garden With A Gravestone

Revisting The Garden

I still visit our grave.
watching the flowers decay
digging up the dirt
to feel our love one last time
but it will never feel the same.

~~~

I made a lot of progress
Until I heard the wind gently whisper your name.
my walls crumbled to the ground harshly.
Hoping it was you that made them fall.
And that you were on your way back to me
-relapse

~~~

You appear in my dreams
Every night
Making me happy
That I get to see you again
But sad it's all just a dream.

~~~

The words bled from my mouth
Burning at your skin.
The knife was in my hand
And I took advantage,
Stabbing at the lungs.
Hoping to get some kind of revenge.
But it all came back at me.
When I realized those were my last words to you.

~~~

A murderer
And a savior
What is it you ask?
a pill.

~~~

I wish I could forget
your touch

D a n c i n g

Across my skin
to every place you touched.

~~~

I took a drive down memory lane,
No longer filled with the bright colours we imagined
But filled with dark blue and grey
Full of guilt, regret, and sorrow.
The memories cold to the touch
Everything is dead
What happened to what I last remembered?
-trauma

~~~

My past feels like water
Coming into every crack
To wash me out
And bring me back to the waters
I once escaped.

~~~

I scream to the night sky my problems
Because someone
Somewhere up there
Is listening to my cries.

~~~

I wondered why I used to cover
My mirrors
Until i looked into one
And didn't see myself
But a younger version of you.

~~~

As quick as a flash of lightning
You appeared
But just as quick you were gone
As you began to whisper
The pain came lingering in
Your hands wrapped around my torso
Your touch staining my skin
Your voice, a broken record
Saying the things I wish to forget
But as you left, everything stopped

~~~

We all know the sun rises
Even after a dark night.
But the sunsets too
And that dark night appears yet again.

~~~

I was not allowed to be sad
Simply because I was the "happy" friend
Apparently, no one knew what a mask was.

~~~

You really wanted me to suffer didn't you?
I'm afraid to sleep
Because you are manifesting into my dreams
Late at night
Causing a nightmare to appear.

~~~

You are everywhere and anywhere I go.
Your shadow appears looming over me,
Your voice echoes in the wind.
You car model is popular in this town
I see it everywhere, hoping it's you.
You appear in my mirror where I am supposed to be.
You follow me around and leave me signs that it's you.
A blackbird always comes near me when I'm outside.
The songs you used to sing, played on the radio.

~~~

I thought i broke the chain
Between us
So i got up and ran as fast as i could
I made it so far
Then fell
And started dragging dragging backwards
-they never broke.

~~~

Our friendship was like iron,
Strong at first
But rotted over time.

~~~

You said you cared about me..
But you didn't show that.
Darling, i notice things
Things i wish i didn't

~~~

When he walks through the front door,
This house turns into a warzone,
Doors were slammed
Blood was shed
Voices screamed,
Too many cigarettes were smoked.
And the sound of two hearts breaking.
This house was no longer home
When he is here.

~~~

9:11am:
The sun shines into my eyes
Forcing me awake
Making me leave you
And the rest of the dream.
Oh please give me five more minutes
With you.

~~~

The silver pen draws across the paper
Leaving a dark red trail.
The ink fades over time
But stains,
And the paper will always remember what was written.

~~~

No matter how bold I write,
no one can read.
No matter how loud I speak,
No one can listen.
No matter how long I scream,
No one can hear.

~~~

I saw you today.
For only a second.
And in that time,
I felt my heart crash against the floor
Smashing into a million sharp pieces
Cutting into my lungs
Forcing the air to escape.
I saw you today for a second
And in that second,
I quickly shoved my feeling back into the box
Because I promised I was getting better.

~~~

You pour your sadness into a pot over the stove
Hoping it would brew to become happiness
But you left it on for too long
The pot overflows
And you can't control the floating,
Burning everyone in its path.
Anger starts as sadness.
But the best thing you could have done
was to take the pot off the stove.

~~~

My rotten blood,
Oh my boiling blood.
My actions, I cannot control
Carve its way into their skin.
My mouth bled words
So sharp they cut their hearts.
My rotten blood.
My boiling blood.
Looking for a something to blame
Other than myself
I'm not proud of my rotten blood.

~~~

There was no point in saving her,
Her mind was filled with tombstones.
And her body with dead flowers.
Chains cuffed her ankles,
Dragging her past everywhere she went.
Everything in her had died.
It was time to let her go.

~~~

I moved on completely,
or so I thought.
Thinking I tamed the demons
But that one demon.
Eating away at the metal bars,
escapes to my heart
While talking over my mind every time.

~~~

Stinging bullets hit her skin,
And burned until it was red.
The heat from the gun made it hard to see.
Sadly, she still couldn't feel a thing.
But she wasn't on the battlefield,
She was only taking a shower.