Mr. and Mrs. Impossible tumors

Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right

"I was wrong about the Amelia situation. She doesn't wanna leave. She wants to stay. She can take over your service, she can help out with the kids. You can brain map to your heart's content. I don't have to pull my hair out. It is the answer we've been looking for." Meredith had been looking forward to telling her husband the good news since she'd had a sort of heart-to-heart with Amelia, her sister-in-law. She didn't totally like her, but she was very grateful for all she was doing.

"That's great! And we have something else to celebrate: the president offered me a position at the N.I.H." Derek's eyes were glowing with joy, while he was pouring champagne for the both of them.

Meredith, on the other hand, couldn't tell how she felt about his news. "What does this mean?"

"It means that the government is gonna give me a whole research facility mainly focused on Alzheimer's and a position on the board. They wanted the facility to be in DC, but they agreed to set it up here. I only have to go to DC on a weekly basis."

It was great news indeed and Meredith tried to show him all her enthusiasm, but deep down a thought was eating her: Cristina was moving to Switzerland to run a fancy research center, Derek was going to cure Alzheimer's and map brains for the President of the United States himself, while she was still stuck with her own portal vein research. She felt like everyone was moving fast and she couldn't keep up with them.

"You look thoughtful." Meredith was so caught up with her thoughts that she didn't realize her husband was looking at her. She didn't want to ruin the moment for him, but eventually she couldn't keep what she had been worrying about for months to herself anymore.

"I am happy for you and for Cristina. I really am! But I feel like I'm stuck career-wise, because I can't bring my research forward and ..." She was reluctant to bring up what was troubling her the most "I've been living under my mother's shadow since I decided to go to meds school, and now I don't want to live under yours." Meredith bit her lip and turned her face towards her husband's. It was a huge step for her to admit that.

***

Meredith's words stabbed Derek in the stomach. He knew that him getting back from his promise had had an impact on his wife, but he had no idea that she felt like she was living under his shadow, just like she had been living under her mother's before. Her words hurt him, mainly because he felt like he'd failed her. He knew she was an incredibly skilled surgeon and he didn't want to be the reason why she couldn't prove it.

"You know you're a great surgeon. Actually, looking at the bigger picture, you're even a better surgeon than Cristina and myself, because you are caring, but without getting too involved. As for the research, all you need to do is clear up your mind. An idea will come to you!" Derek meant every single word he was saying to his wife and tried to let her know it through his eyes. He did believe  Dr. Grey could accomplish great things. And then an idea struck him: "Why don't we take the kids and have a vacation? I'll start working at the new research facility next month, because they have to set it up first, and you could use a break to come back to your research with a fresh mind!"