another (very necessary) blush blush book

incorrect quotes (pt1?)

Eli: during a nuclear explosion there's a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are cooked to perfection
Cole: there's also a distance where the people are perfectly cooked
Ichiban: FLAVOR ZONE
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anon: if i see you outside doing something nonessential without a mask, i will stomp your kneecaps backwards
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poe: our conversations aren't long but you know what is...... my list of missing assignments *finger guns*
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eli: i may be having a rough time but at least i have a hot boyfriend
volks: WE'RE NOT DATING
eli: right, at least i have a hot husband
volks: NO
anon&ichiban: *wheeze*
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nimh: frick
everyone: *gasp*
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nimh: *is out of eyesight for .2 seconds*
nimh stans: wheRES THE BABY, WE LOST HIM, PULL THE ALAR-
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cole: i'm yandere for you
marshmallow: first of all, cringe. second of all, red flag.
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anon: when i first meet you i thought you where weird and annoying
marshmallow: ...and?
anon: and you are
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scale: i am crazy, but i am free
*proceeds to burn down a building*
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nimh: all women should be respected
anon: if she breathes, shE'S A THO-
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kelby: hey eli, you doing okay?
eli: yeah, just lately i haven't been able to think straight
eli's thoughts: balls, 2 guys holding hands, d*ck, dudes butts, we-
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volks: remember! nobody will ever hate you as much as you already hate yourself!
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dmitri: hey what to you guys want to eat
cole: a soul of the innocent
anon: a bagel
cole: no
anon: 2 bagels
cole: NO
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eli: it made me a lesbian, i only date girls now
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marshmallow: so who is older?
iro: i don't see why that matters
eli: it's me!! i'm older!!
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anon *visibly hasn't slept in the past 24hrs*: hamburgerberbaby
marshmallow: please go to bed
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marshmallow: I LOST THE GAME
anon, ichiban, myx, eli: I LOST THE GAME
garret *visibly confused*: what game?
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*playing pictionary*
nimh: *draws a rectangle and colors it*
eli: huh
eli: what pride flag is that?
nimh: it's the german flag...
eli: OH, yeah...i don't know math
nimh: *visible confusion*
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volks: i hate you
anon: i'll let you punch me for like $7
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volks: get your cute relationship out of my life, i'm busy being alone and bitter
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ichiban: the dashcon ballpit would be an amazing scp
anon: yeah, and it should only materialize at unfortunate events
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anon: thing are going to be better at around four
ichiban: that's when the rats take over
eli: i will welcome our rat overlords will open arms. nimh get to baking some cookies, we're gonna have guests!!
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kelby: so, uh, marshmallow we have news
marshmallow: yeah?
nimh: garret stepped on a ladybug
marshmallow: oh no!
eli: we don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a ladybug, and in fact it was only a red m&m
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kelby: the orcs are harassing me at the gym again
myx: what did they do this time?
kelby:  they kept coming up to me at the bench press, and proceeded to yell "mak gorag" and add at least 400 pounds
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garret: how do i communicate to wild bunnies that i'm their ally?
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scale: i've got a knife, sharp, perfect for...
*pulls out a tiny block of wood*
arts and crafts!!
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dmitri: someone at the cafe asked for some "drink seasoning"... they were talking about whipped cream...
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marshmallow: what are cute names to call your enby s/o?
kelby: partner
eli: joyfriend
anon: bastard
scale: the madness of king george
volks: scoundrel
myx: lounge lizard
ichiban: cake-eater
dmitri: little bird
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eli, at a karaoke bar: what thE FRICK do you mean by you DONT have the mulan soundtrack?
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ichiban, wearing a sonic costume: i'm the ghost of christmas fast
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anon: are you a cat? no? goodbye
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stirling: why do people keep saying "count dracula" i don't need to count, i only see one vampire and it's me, not dracula
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william: what do you have?!
scale: a knife!!
william: no!
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