Night Rider (Niall Horan)

[11] Thoughts

It's been a whole week since I've last seen or heard of Niall. That night on the beach was apparently enough to make him not want to see me again. Even though he was the one who kissed me. I've replayed that moment over and over again. He kissed me with so much passion, it was like he'd been longing for it. It felt as if nothing could've satisfied him more and that he was desperate for more. The only thing I can't understand is why he would push me away soon after the kiss. It's as if he thought kissing me had torn his wall down and when he pulled away from the kiss and ran, that was him building the wall back up again. I shook my head and went back to reading my book. I've been sitting on my bed reading for the past three hours now. I sighed and closed my book not being able to focus anymore. Just then a knock was at the door. I got up and opened the front door, surprised to see Niall.

He leaned against the door way, eyes shaded by his sunglasses. He was wearing a soccer jersey and tight blue jeans.

"Hi." he lifted up his sunglasses, placing them on top of his head. They disappearing into his fluffy blonde hair and he smiled scanning my body with his eyes. "Don't you look like a cute little nerd today."

I figured he was referring to the fact that I was wearing my reading glasses.

"What do you want?" I stood in the doorway, blocking him outside. I tapped on the wood of the door with my fingers waiting for a response.

"May I come in? Thank you." He easily moved past me and entered before I could say anything to stop him. I shut the door behind him and watched as he threw himself onto the couch.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest. I made an angry face, yet I wasn't angry. I was really just curious as to why he was here.

"Everything has been hectic at work lately. I tried to go to my house to get some quiet relaxing time but as usual there's a party going on."

"Work?" I scoffed. "You call street racing 'work' as if it's a real job. That's pretty funny, considering the fact that it's not even legal."

He got up from the couch slowly approaching me.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. You must have me mistaken for someone who you can talk to however the fuck you want." His hand slammed against the wall behind me. My back pressed against the door, and I gulped. His fist became a flat palm on the wall, beside my head.

It took all the courage in me to say, "I just don't remember us ever being friends. Why would you come here?"

His face reddened with anger.

Niall's POV

I wish I could tell her. I wanted to tell her so very bad how much I would enjoy ripping her clothes off and tying her wrists to a bed and kissing every single inch of her body. I wanted her. Every little thing that comes with her.

But I can't bring myself to even hint her towards any of that. I just can't tie myself down to one girl. It would be physically impossible for me not to look at or touch any other girl while in a relationship. I wouldn't be able to commit to her and that would hurt her.

I only push Reyna away because I don't know how else to handle these intense feelings that I have for her. The feelings that contradict everything and makes me want her and only her.

That night on the beach I just couldn't hold it back anymore. I had to kiss her. And then I stopped, realizing how amazing and great the kiss felt. I've never felt that way about any girl in my entire existence and I was super confused as to why that was. So I bolted.

I wanted to leave. Coming here was a bad idea.

Her big green eyes still peered up at me through the rims of her glasses. She looked so incredibly adorable in them. The over sized sweater and yoga pants made me lust for her innocence.

I pushed every single thought aside. "We're not friends you're right. Forget it." I cleared my throat. "I would walk out right about now but you're in my way."

She didn't hesitate to move away from the door. I walked out, put my sunglasses back on, and headed towards my car in the parking lot.

**

"Mate, I think you've had one too many," Zayn said taking the cup from my hand.

"Zayn, I'm just having some fun!" I whined like a six year old girl.

"More like drinking away your emotions. I know you Ni. You drink like any other Irish man would but tonight it's different. Isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't need this from you." I pushed Zayn's arm off from my shoulder and stumbled to my backyard, ignoring him calling my name. I pushed through the crowd of people and looked at my jacuzzi. I started to undress until I was down to my boxers. People started to stare at me in disbelief.

"The hell you dick-bags looking at? It's my fucking house!" I stepped in and sat down sighing. The hot water relaxed every muscle in my body. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was asleep.

"Niall...?"

I woke up rubbing my eyes and looked around. The sun was up, shining annoyingly in my eyes and Reyna stood above me. I was laying in the grass with a towel as a blanket.

I groaned as my head started to pound. "What the hell?" I got up, leaving the towel on the floor and looked at her.

She was trying to hide a smile. "Nice bed head," she said laughing.

I cursed under my breath trying to fix my hair with my hands. 

"You look like you had fun last night. Why are you half naked?"

"Probably a really good one night stand." I shrugged and walked past her into the kitchen. I mentally slap myself for my choice of words. I shouldn't have said that to the only girl I really care about. I glanced at her as I reached into the cabinets and popped three aspirins. Her eyebrows were furrowed, as if she was troubled. I guess what I said bothered her.

I hoped it did. That meant she felt the same way about me as I did her.

I set my glass of water down, and trudged upstairs.

"I just came by to see if Krysten was here," said Reyna.

"She and Harry went out somewhere. She'll be back soon." I smiled to myself. Krysten and Harry weren't even at the party, I didn't have a clue where they were. I had no idea if they'd even come by my house at all today. I just said that to get her to stay and spend more time with me; in hopes that I could get her to not hate me.

I stopped midway up the spiral staircase and looked down at her. "Well, are you gonna stay down there by yourself?"