Blood On Her Hands (A Philinda Story Part II)

Chapter 2

(Philip J Coulson)
Coulson crossed his arms slightly. He was still trying to process what May had said. He dropped his hands into his pockets and his eyebrows scrunched up.

"What? What makes you think that Jaiying is Hydra?" Coulson asked. He couldn't really see it. Especially given the fact that WhiteHall had experimented on her. May didn't break eye contact with him.

"Think about it, Jaiying didn't think hydra was bad. She automatically thought S.H.I.E.L.D. was. Why would she think that if S.H.I.E.L.D. saved her?" She asked. Coulson nodded slightly.

"Still doesn't explain why she agreed to be a Hydra agent if she was almost killed by them.." he whispered. He tried to think of the logic in that but couldn't find anything. May thought for a moment too. There was silence in the room. Only for a moment before May looked up at him. Coulson caught her staring from the corner of his eye and looked down at her.

"Well maybe she didn't have a choice." May explained. Coulson slid his hands out from his pockets and crossed them.

"What are you getting at?" He asked. May put her hands on her hips.

"What if she was brainwashed like Agent thirty three?" May asked. Coulson remembered agent thirty three. She had pretended to be May whenever they were on a mission. Almost fooled him too if it wasn't for bits and pieces of reactions, talking, etc. She used to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, until Hydra got ahold of her and brainwashed her. Coulson thought about it for a moment. It wasn't that bad of an idea. Coulson nodded towards May.

"She may have.." He muttered. Looking down slightly. Coulson thought for a moment. He cared about all of this Hydra shit, but he was thinking of something more important to him. Was May okay? She seemed like she was resisting, or holding off something. Coulson could always tell when she did that. May was staring at the table, lost in thought.

"May?" He asked gently. May blinked a bit before looking up at him. He must've broke her train of thought.

"Hm?" She hummed.

"You alright?" He asked. Of course he had already asked but he needed to be sure.

"Be honest." He pleaded. May stared at him for a moment. As if she was trying to find the words. She crossed her arms and had began looking at everything except for Coulson. She always did that whenever she was upset.

"Liana and Lis don't deserve to be in there.." She whispered. Coulson scrunched his eyebrows up.

"Why do you say that?" His voice was soothing but he added a rough 'are you crazy?' tone. May looked up at him.

"They're only doing this because of me.." May explained gently. Coulson's heart broke. He hated whenever May blamed herself for things she couldn't help. Coulson sighed.

"They're in there because they deserve to be in there.. not because of you.. but because of them." He explained gently. May thought for a moment before letting out a short sigh.

"The reason they did all those things was because of me Coulson." She said sternly. Her voice had a bit of annoyance to it.

"May." He told her warningly. May's face was full of hurt and anger. Possibly at herself. Or at him. Coulson wasn't sure.

"Don't start with that Phil." She snapped. Coulson didn't blame her for being mad. So he didn't get angry when she began raising her voice.

"Jaiying hated S.H.I.E.L.D. because I killed that little girl. Lis hates me because I KILLED her! And Liana hates me because I KILLED her DAUGHTER." Her voice croaked as if she was forcing back tears. Coulson's face scrunched up in guilt. So May's face relaxed a bit. There was pain in her voice.