My heart belongs to you

Chapter 13: Everything have changed

It's 7:30 pm in the evening. A man in black office attire sitting on his desk in the dark room. He is tall. Have black hair, long legs, pale skin and dimple on face, muscular body. He is tapping his pen on the table and leaned to the chair. His left hands index and thumb on his chin like he is thinking something.

"No one will ever love you hyung no one...."

"You know what an alpha like you capable of ...huh..causing pain ..pain and pain...."

This words are keep repeating on his mind. He stopped tapping the pen and stood up from his chair. He walks towards the big glass wall on his office room.

He is looking so worried. His eyes are glistening with tears. He is trying his best to stop the tears from rolling down. He crossed his arms on his chest looking at the city lights.

"No one will ever love you Park Namjoon.... mark my word "

"No one will ever love you hyung.."

He kneeling down on the floor and put his hands on his ear to stop hearing those words which are echoing in his head and mind.

"AAAAAHHH STOP!! PLEASE STOP!! "
He screamed and his eyes are betraying with him. His tears are rolling down from his cheeks. He stood up from his kneeling position and run towards the washroom.

He looking at the big bathroom mirror. Seeing his reflection on the mirror. His heart is speaking with him.

"Love is not bad Namjoon. It's not bad to feel love. Please don't pushed away that feeling.."

"Noo.. nono..love will only make you feel weak. I don't need love. It- it will make me feel vulnerable..it will broke me again.."

"Keep telling that yourself. Why are you hurting your self. Why are you hating this feeling? Why you always pushed the feeling away? Explain it yourself. You are not only hurting yourself but also the people around you. Give chance to the people whom you love. Give them chance to love you."

"STOP IT PLEASE SHUT UP..I DON'T WANT HEAR THOSE THINGS. I HATE TO FEEL LOVE SO PLEASE STOP IT AND SHUT UP"

"Screamed.....keep screaming I won't stop until you say why are sceard of this feeling.."

"I-I am not scared of this feeling.."

"Why are you lying yourself? "

His eyes are full of anger. His fist are clenched. He was breathing heavily same time crying so hard. He punched hardly on the mirror. The mirror shattered in to pieces. His fist is bleeding. But this pain is nothing to compare his heavy heart.

"You want to know the reason right....Then okay I'm telling. Yes.....yes yes hundred times yes I sceard of my own feelings. I am like a broken piece of my heart. I'm angry with myself. I'm that voice which is hidden somewhere in the chest. I always remained myself that love is nothing but game of cards which will break and build your trust.." said Namjoon with tears in his eyes.

"I always sceard of that feeling cause I
....cause I have seen the fate changing. Have seen the world changing. I have seen my beloved one changing. I have seen the lies being altered. Have seen truth being modified. Everybody changed I have seen. My everything have changed. I am already devastated....." he wishper himself.

"He also told me the same thing like Jimin..." he chuckled and said "No one will ever love me "

"Jimin my baby brother you always asked me hmmm..why I always hate him. And here is your answer his face reminds me of him. His last name Choi reminds me of him. His voice reminds me of him. His everything remainds me of him. Whom I once give my heart and he returned me that with crashing it and shattered into million pieces. I don't want that same things happen with you. I can handle it anyhow but my poor Jiminie 's fragile heart can't. I won't let that happen. I don't trust any of them I always fear that something will happen with you which was happened with me few years ago. And if it's make you to hate me then you can I can't save my heart but at last I can save yours. "He said and whised that if he can said the word stand face to face with Jimin

It's true Namjoon is trying his best to stay strong. He loves his brother truly their is no lie in that. He is trying to saving his heart to fall in wrong hand. He wants his brother to give his precious heart to the right person who will worth it but if it his brother understand that.

"Jiminie baby please don't get your hyung wrong. Your hyung is doing this for your own good. You will understand it later. Just know that your hyung always do the best thing for you. And your Namjoon hyung didn't change he was, he is and he will your old Namjoon. Just people around me changed me, changed my own feelings. But my love for you will never changed all of this year. As a mafia leader when I kill people my heart didn't stop me or never scold me for doing that. But when I hurt you I feel like my chest tightened. I feel like heart will stop beating when I make your precious tears fall my heart scold me calling me heartless beast and I'm worse than any monster." He keep talking him self sitting beside the broken mirror. It's he feel like sitting beside his broken heart.

"When I started to look out for love I found that but I but I found my love in wrong person and begun with the wrong person. The one whose arrival life had become complete and every lack was fulfilled. He gave me dreams and then took them away. If I live it feel like such a torture he gave me. I want him to me came back and take them away the pain and the memory he gave me. I am doing my best to recover my shattered heart but I still have fear that if I give it again to someone who knows it will break it again."He said before went out from the washroom.

He is right. His heart is already broken. It's recovering. But he don't want to do the same mistake again. The mistake he did few years ago he is still paying for that. He promise himself he will never do the same mistake again not only with him but also with his baby brother. The way his everything have changed he won't let them happen again with his brother too.