Look Back at Me (Fleckney Fields Series, Book 1)

Better This Time

Her phone ringing, vibrating, and shaking the tray on the side table was what woke her up. She stretched her hand and swiped without looking at the screen.

"Hey, babe," Rhys said, and then gave up his usual half-chuckle, half-snort - the sound that he made when he thought he was being exceptionally funny.

Viola blinked a few times, trying to understand what time it was. She sat up slowly, immediately aware of the distasteful pulling ache in her lower stomach.

"Vi?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," she muttered and looked at her watch.

It was half past seven. He had his tea, and now he's lonely, she thought.

"I'm not actually calling you 'babe.' I know you don't fancy it," he said quickly. "I was referring–"

"Yes, I remember," she said and rubbed her eyes with her left hand. "I'm sorry, I was sleeping. I'm a tad groggy."

"Oh sorry," he said softly. "Do you want to go back to your nap?"

She realised she'd expected him to tease her for sleeping in the middle of a day - but that would be just her inner critic talking. It was almost funny how these days she constantly needed to remind herself that the real Rhys was quite different from the Rhys in her head. 

"It's OK," she said and sighed. "Rhys, something–"

The word 'happened' just sort  trembled on her lips, and she cleared her throat. If she spoke about it, all of it would become reality: the bleeding, the tests she'd have to go through, the treatment she was going to need, a surgery she most likely would have to go through, the medication, the hormones, and lastly, her possible infertility.

She would have discussed it with him, had it happened ten years or more earlier. But... who is Rhys Holyoake to you now?

If she just chatted with him, said her goodbyes, and went back to sleep, she wouldn't have to deal with it for a few more hours.

Except she just didn't want to 'deal with it' alone. Not anymore.

"Something happened," she said firmly. "I actually spent this night in the hospital."

"What?!" he barked on the other end. "I mean– Sorry. Please, go on."

His civil - choked, robotic - tone was so forced that Viola couldn't help but chuckle. She suddenly clearly imagined how he was clenching his left hand in a giant fist, keeping himself from barging in and interrogating her and trying to solve all her problems right now, right here. Just as he fixes generators and uprights fallen poles.

"I'm OK now," she said and then closed her eyes. "Actually, no, I'm not. I'm in pain, and I'm upset, and–" Her voice wavered, and she took a slow measured breath.

They were both silent for a few seconds, and then she smiled without opening her eyes.

"I love you," she said - and that was when the first tears spilled. "And thank you. God... Thank you so much for not asking anything right now."

He was still quiet, and she assumed he was fighting against every possible urge to behave in the usual Rhys manner.

"It has to do with my reproductive system," she said quickly, taking pity on the poor man. "It turned out I have this condition– it's called endometriosis. It's not good. It's not cancer, but–" She wiped her tears. "It's not good. And now there are all these tests and procedures, and– God, I've had enough hospital visits and ultrasounds and waiting for test results, and all the worrying and–"