Survivors ( bellarke fanfic )book 2

Heres to the beginig of the war

Clarke :
After the endless hours of helping people I left to die , I had heard Bellamy was close to shutting down the acid fog.
But in that place . Close didn't mean anything if you got caught .

My heart felt a sudden rush of emptyness.
What if Bellamy fails .
What if he dies .
All I wanted to do was see him in person . to feel him. To wrap my arms around him and not let go.
"What if this was all a mistake and I sent Bellamy to die . " I blurt out and I hear Lexa sigh .

"It's war. Don't let weakness tear you down . not now " she says meeting my gaze.

"You say feelings are weak . but feelings is what keeps us strong and makes us fight . " I say to her comment .

She turns to look at something at the table behind her.
"You care about him "
Yes .
"I care about all of them " I reply .

"But you care about him more " she says looking for the answer as of it was written on my face .

" He's Important to me . and the last time I talk to him won't be by radio. " I mutter thinking if it would be.

I walk out of the tent to see Octavia , only she didn't look happy .

"You ok ? " I ask her , sitting across for her , a fire in between.

"I wondered how you survived it . you were dead center of camp. At least I thought you were . then after , you show up unharmed . the only way you could've survived that is if you would have known . " She says darkly and in a hushed tone.

"Octavia..." I start

"You were going to let me die .
You let all those people die .! " She says , till remaining harsh

"It's war. I had no choice " I plead , hoping she would let it go .

"What do you think Bellamy would think of you now ? Wait . he's not here . you sent him into Mt weather, and he only went for you . of course he claims he did it for our friends but his Heart isn't doing it for them . " She says standing up to leave

My heart was shattered .
"Octavia ..wait .."

"What ? " she growls.

"You can't tell anyone. it would -"

"-break the alliance . yeah . I know " she says in disbelief that the only thing I said was about the bomb.

Tears welled up In my eyes . I wanted the war over and Bellamy safe .
I wanted him with me.
Just for a moment a saw a look of sympathy from Octavia .
Maybe because she wanted him back to .

Seeing Octavia so mad made me so helpless. she used to by such a good friend.

"After this is all over ..I'm done with you Clarke . " She mutters and walks off.
----
The rest of the day felt of guilt and mad and want.
I felt guilty for what id done
I felt mad for Lexa trying to kill Octavia .
I felt want for Bellamy.

I walked out of the tent where I was recently threatening my alliance to keep Octavia safe to see the flair light up at camp Jaha.

"He did it ..." I whisper

"Let's go to war " Lexa says behind me . I smile at her and nod
Lexa yells to her people to be ready and we all march into the acid fog zone.

I look over to Octavia . she looked so much like a grounder , but she fit in so well.

When we reach MT weather , all I know is the only thing keeping me from him was a door.

My first plan was to find Bellamy so we can figure out our next move .

I knew the correct thing to do was go find our people first but I was so tired of making decisions without him .

"Let's go to war " I whisper to no one in particular , but of anyone had heard , would of thought it of a pep talk.

This was it.
This is was we worked so hard for.

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