𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐎'𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊

𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 (𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄)

Now, for the final batch of our teen fiction entries!

The whole review process has been fun and a bit stressful too, but best believe all the reviews are constructive and detailed, and have been constructed by proffessionals.  So, take them into consideration and use it to improve your work. At the end of the day, WattNaija's aim is to make you an even better writer.

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•Book Title: New Year Resolution
•Author: TheOlajumokeHera

•Book Graphics: 8/10:

I love the graphic illustration art you opted for and the themes of brown and cream, the lettering, your author's name by the side, everything is proportional and pretty.

•Blurb: 4½/5
There isn't a thing I'd change about your blurb. It tell exactly what the book is all about. It's not too vague and it's not to informative. It's perfect and click-worthy.

•Introduction: 4½/5
Like your blurb, your prologue is conveying the message it's supposed to, containing the inciting that kick-starts the entire narrative and what exactly your main character; Gbemi, wants for her New Year Resolutions.

•Punctuations: 6/10

While your use of punctuation is better than some I've come across, I believe there's so much more 'polishing up' you can do as a writer. I suggest you correctly learn how to use quotation marks as most of the times, you were failing in this aspect. For eg:

Your works comes as:

"Last junior in this hostel" Her voice was firm and it carried a lot of authority.

Notice how weak, robotic and ordinary it sounds, without much character or zest.

Whereas, the correct form is:

"Last junior in this hostel!" Her voice was firm and it carried a lot of authority.

Exclamations, fullstops, question marks are very important and add life to your dialogue. Besides the dialogue aspect, your overall use of punctuation is fair enough.

•Spelling and Grammar: 6/10

I noticed your preferred use of tense; which started off as past tense, kept fluctuating. You kept alternating it with present tense.

Eg:

•She was resuming school today and she can't afford...

•After she made sure she has carried everything to the car...

Whereas, the more correct options are:

• She was resuming school and she *couldn't* afford to...

• After she made sure she *had* carried everything to the car...

•Sentence Construction: 6/10

I found your sentences lacking something vital that could have made it less generic and more interesting and intriguing to read. They were good, I'll give you that... But it's lacking a certain 'wow' factor.

•Description and Imagery: 2/10

Your descriptions were either inexistent or too little to give me a precise image of the characters, places, hostels, etc. Five chapters into the book, I still don't know what BHS looks like. I still don't have an image of Crystal or Gbemi or Tolu or Maryam in my head. Are they tall, fat, athletic looking, muscular, curvy? Do they have coily hair, big eyes, tired eyes, gap teeth, starry eyes, hopeful looks, calm smiles, diminutive postures? What hairstyle do they wear? Do they wear any accessories that set them apart from the rest? All these things need to be describes, in bits and pieces at least.