Instagram and celeb crush

Chapter 11

Hey guys, I know it's been awhile since I've updated and truth be told, I have writers block and reread what I have wrote about four times. This chapter has mentions of being raped (past tense) and I just want everyone to know that this is not being encouraged, but the song is called 'Stolen Innocence' by Courtney Parker and I truly love it because it describes me. So please listen to the song before or while your reading it's really good. Okay now let's get to the book. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to Jeremy shaking my arm and looked up at him, his eyes filled with worry. "You were whimpering in your sleep. Dreaming about last night?" I gave a slight nod and he had laid back down onto the bed, "Is there anything I can do?" 

That is a good question, truth be told I don't have an answer. I pondered his question before making my decision final. "I-I think I'm going to go sleep in the room with my mom. It's not you I just can't, I can't I-i can't" Tears flowed down my cheeks and I felt my face get hot. "Woah hey it's okay, I'll walk you to the room at least." 

I half walked half limped into my moms room and laid on the bed next to her, I wrapped the blanket that Jeremy gave me around myself and let myself cry. I couldn't hold back any of the tears. These last two days have been horrible, I felt like utter shit. I stayed as quiet as possible trying to make sure my mom didn't hear me. 

I felt her warm arms wrap around my body, "Hey Y/N it will get better sweetheart. It may not look like it but I promise you it will. I know you're wondering what is wrong with you to make people think they can just use you but I promise it's not you. We live in a world full of sick people who don't care how they make others feel they just care how they feel." She kissed the top of my head and held me until she fell asleep. I continued to silently cry knowing I would get no sleep.  

When I finally calmed down and stopped crying I went to the bathroom and washed my face. The shine of a razor caught my eye and for a split second the thought of cutting myself flashed through my head. It was gone in an instant but I grabbed it. I held it in my hand and hesitated before I hid it in the bathroom, I knew I would forget where I put it once I left the room because there is the incredible power of doorways! I stood in the bathroom staring at my reflection, red swollen eyes from crying. I looked down at my wrist and wished for the relief I would get when I cut myself but still refused to cut. Pulling my sleeve back down I quickly washed my face again and composed myself before I went back to my moms bed and curled into her side. 

I woke up again and looked at the time it was close to the sunrise so I got out of bed and walked to the window and sat on the roof as I watched the sunrise. The early crisp morning air filling my lungs, the slight wind that felt my skin feel good as it blew through my hair. I sighed and listened to all the happy chirping birds. 

Opening the door Jeremy fell onto his back, a blanket covering half his body. He looked up at me through half lidded eyes and a goofy smile on his face. "Well hello there" I smiled down at him and stretched my arm out for him to grab, "Hello Princess, sleep well?" I sighed, knowing I would tell him about the thought that crossed my mind last night. 

"First what were you doing?" entering the kitchen I sat down as he made coffee and explained what he was doing outside of the door. 

"Well I told you I would be here for you so I grabbed a blanket and laid outside of the room."