Song Fics

She

Nine in the morning The man drops his kids off at school

And he's thinking of you

Like all of us do

Sends his assistant for coffee in the afternoon

Around 1:32

Like he knows what to do

She (she)

She lives in daydreams with me (she)

She's the first one that I see

And I don't know why

I don't know who she is (she, she)

A chorus of "Bye daddy's" rang through Milo's truck as he dropped his two little girls off at their school. He only offered the twins a small smile and a quiet 'I love you' before watching the girls skip away into the building. As he stared to ensure that they made it in safely, he couldn't help but allow his mind to wander to their mother. He wondered if she was still in bed.

He scoffed.

Of course she was still in bed, the real question was whether or not she was awake. He would have no way of knowing until around his lunch break when he will return home...just to check on her. Milo sighed as realization began to set in for him. He was in a failing marriage with a woman who wants nothing to do with him or their children. A woman who most likely stays for the convenience of it all and in hopes of not being labeled as a complete deadbeat. This was the first time he's been brutally honest with himself and considering the ache in his heart, he is reminded why he has decided to play along for this long and deny it all. There was a time in Milo's world where everything revolved around her. He catered to her and her wants and her needs.

He believed (and still believes) that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on with her brown skin, dowey brown eyes, and curly hair. She was funny and smart and made sure everyone in the room was fully aware of it without being completely obnoxious about it. She was his dream girl.

Was.

Now she spends half of her days in bed and the other half getting high. She became everything she feared of becoming. She became her mother, but life is funny that way.

Genetics are a bitch and a half.

It was stupid, but Milo held on tightly to the possibility that she will be that girl again. His girl. Maybe that's why he stayed. It was a bit easier considering he often lived reminiscing about what she once was or what she could be. He thought about how great of a mother she would be due to her previous caring and maternal nature. He imagines her randomly getting sober one day and coming home to a clean house (their house was clean but not clean to her standards) and her poor cooking. These were the things he selfishly held on to despite the fact that it has never existed.

But they were comforting.

They kept him going.

He takes a boat out

Imagines just sailing away (away, away)

And not telling his mates (not telling his mates)

He wouldn't know what to say (wouldn't know what to say, to say)

Despite the fact that he often lived in his head thinking about the woman his wife used to be, he would also selfishly think about packing up all his shit and leaving. He hated himself for that.

He had kids to think about.

But he was human and exhausted and wanted nothing more than to just...start over. He didn't have the heart to do it though. He loved his girls and he loved their mother and the thought of never seeing them again filled him with even more anxiety than he already had. So he was stuck and unhappy. And his girls were stuck and oblivious because this is all they've ever known; an absent mother and fantasy driven father.

Lives for the memory

A woman who's just in his head (just in his head)

And she sleeps in his bed (his bed)

While he plays pretend (pretend)

So pretend (pretend)