Astronomy

Ninteen: James

James paced the floor of his dorm quickly. Sirius was sitting in his bed with his feet in the air, watching James.
"Who do I ask to the dance?" James asked. "Who should I ask, Sirius?"
"I don't know, James. Ask whoever you want."
"Who are you taking?"
Sirius ignored the question and instead started humming a song James had never heard before.
"Sirius, who are you taking?"
Sirius pulled at a string that had become lose on his sweatshirt. "Peter is taking some girl from Hufflepuff."
James stopped pacing and stared at Sirius. "Who are you going with?"
Sirius didn't meet James's eyes but sat up normally on the bed and shrugged. "Remus and I are going as friends." He paused. Because neither of us could get dates," he quickly added.
James smiled. He knew Sirius didn't like girls. It had been obvious to him for about a year now, but he would never tell Sirius that. It wasn't his place. All he could do was let Sirius know that he didn't care who he loved. James didn't understand how people cared so much about other people's lives and who other people loved. If Sirius loved Remus, why would that be any less amazing than if Sirius loved a girl?
    "Good for you, Sirius," he said, and genuinely meant it. He hoped Sirius knew that.
    Sirius smiled. "What about you? Any idea of who to ask?"
    James frowned. He knew who he wanted to ask, but it would never work out. "Maybe I'll just go alone," he decided. "And see what happens when I'm there."
    "Good idea," Sirius nodded. "You can keep your options open."
    James nodded in agreement, but he didn't want to have options. He wanted to ask Reggie, but that would never work, for so many reasons, the newest and main one being that he had heard that Reggie had asked someone already. He had never seen the girl before, her name was something like Ivy or Rose or some nature related name, but someone had pointed her out to him in the hallway. She had been with Reggie, and James had felt an odd surge of sadness at the sight of Reggie with someone else.
    He knew it was crazy to be sad about it, but he couldn't help it.
***
The night of the dance, James instantly regrets going. His friends all have dates, despite Sirius and Remus insisting they were going as friends.
He was sitting at a table while his friends danced while debating if he should go upstairs when Lily Evans came and sat at his table.
"Hey James," she said cheerfully. Her red hair was curled around her face. "How're you doing?"
"I'm great," he said. "You?"
"Same," she agreed.
There was an awkward moment before James asked if she had a date.
"No, I just came with some friends."
"Same here." He sat up in his seat. "Wanna have a dance? As friends, of course."
She frowned slightly but then smiled and laughed. "Okay, fine." She grabbed his hand and they walked to the dance floor. "Don't get the wrong idea," she smirked. "I still don't like you."
"Got it," James laughed, twirling her and flashing a smile. "We're friends."
They danced for a few minutes before a Ravenclaw boy came and asked Lily to dance.
"Go for it," James said quickly, motioning towards the guy. "Have fun."
"Thanks, James!" She smiled brightly.
James sighed and walked back to his table, not sure what to do. Before he could figure something out, he noticed Reggie running out the back door.
James wasn't sure what had happened, but he immediately jumped up and followed him out.
    "Reggie? Reggie, what's wrong?"
    Reggie kept walking, picking up the pace. "Not now," he mumbled, and James could tell he was crying.
    James turned in front of Reggie, blocking his path. "What's up?"
    "James, not right now." He tried to push past.
    "You can tell me."
    "You wouldn't understand," Reggie said, still trying to get past James. "Leave me alone."
    "What do you mean? I'd understand."
    "No, you wouldn't."
    "Let's go to the astronomy tower, we can talk." He paused. "What happened to your date?"
    "She's sick." Reggie started crying harder now. "I'm going to sleep," he said.
    "You can tell me what's wrong," James said. "I'd understand."
    "No you wouldn't," Reggie said again, this time pushing past James and continuing to walk down the long hallway.