Haikyuu!! Oneshots

Sugawara x Depressed! Reader

Tw: mentions of suicide and sh. If you are uncomfortable with this topic, I suggest you to skip this chapter.

It's just another day. There's no difference. Everyday is the same. You wake up, survive, and go back to bed; well, if your insomnia is nice enough to let you to. 

You started your day by wearing your uniform. Yes, without showering or at least brush your teeth. It has been like this for a while now. God knows the last time you took one. It's not that you don't want to, you just don't see the point. "What's the point of doing anything if you're going to die one day,"

But today you brush your hair. Well, because you're going to school, of course. Usually you just leave your hair as it be. Or comb it sometimes when it becomes too messy but usually, you just leave your hair like that. Because that's how your life is, a mess.

You wear your shoes and getting ready to leave the house. Skipping breakfast as always. It's not the first time. Even your family gave up to try and persuade you to eat. No matter what kind of food they offer to buy or cook for you, you always say no and say stuffs like "I'm not hungry," or "I already ate with a friend," or "I still have my leftovers. I'm just going to eat that,". You did all of that just to feel skinny, so you can be beautiful. Or at least you can feel like you're beautiful.

You walk with your head facing the ground. Tbh, you don't really feel like going to school. You prefer to stay in your bed, blasting music in the background while you cry and cut yourself. But you have to. Your family won't just let you skip school without any good reason. Surely "I don't want to go to school because I did another attempt last night and I feel like shit," is just a stupid reason to them.

Suddenly you heard someone called your name. You look up and see your boyfriend waves at you. You smiled, because at least you still have him. Even though you need to go to school while all you wanna do is go and kill yourself, at least you have him by your side.

"Hey y/n! Good morning! Did you sleep well last night?" Suga ask with his usual cheerful grin. You couldn't help but smile as well. His smile really is everything. Even by seeing his smile can make you forget all of your problems; or at least for a while. "Not really, but I still got a couple hours of sleep. How about you?"

"Yeah I slept well. Too well that I actually overslept," he laughs. "I rushed over here and made it just in time to meet you so we can walk to school together as usual,". Ah yes, that's your daily routine during weekdays; meeting at that one corner to meet with Suga and walk to school together. It's one of your favourite time of the day. Seeing him in the morning gives you the same vibes like drinking coffee; giving you energy to go on with your day. 

You walk together with him, hand in hand while talking about the day that awaits you. Suga have a practice this evening meanwhile you also need to go to the handball club. Both of you are gonna be home late but at least you can still walk with him later. "By the way, y/n-chan, why are you wearing the jacket? Are you cold?"

Crap. You never thought he's gonna ask; since you always wear jacket to school, almost everyday. It's a norm to you. Even Suga knows that. So you didn't thought he's gonna say a word about it.

"Ah, yes. I'm kinda cold so I decided to wear it. I'll take it off if I feel hot later though," Of course, that was just a lie. You had another mental breakdown last night so you decided to cut. Even though you usually use a rubber band to try and cope with the urge, but you can't last night. You're pretty disappointed with yourself though. The fact that you managed to stay clean for a month just to do it again because of one stupid breakdown makes you feel like shit. 

"Oh, okay. I knew you always wear one but I don't really feel like it's cold today. Or are you trying to hide things from me again?" he stopped walking and look at you. "Of course not. I've promised to tell you if I ever feel like I'm in that dark place again," you try to convince him, hoping he wouldn't be able to sense the truth.