Dynasty - John F Kennedy

IX

June, 1952

"I wanna go home," Maddie whispered to Kathy as they made their way into the posh restaurant.

"That's not an option. You haven't even given her the gift yet." Maddie looked down at the bracelet beautifully hidden in a pink box that she held in her hands. It felt strange being back in New York. Lillian, a fellow citizen of high society, turned 30 and thought that was the perfect excuse for throwing the year's biggest bash. Maddie didn't categorize her as a friend, but they used to run in the same circles when they were younger. They went to the same schools, had the same friends, and somehow ended up never really getting past polite and superficial conversation. Maddie wouldn't have accepted the invitation if it wasn't for the fact that Jack was in New York for the weekend as well. He was supposed to go with her but got stuck in one of his meetings. Maddie had to drag Kathy with her instead. He promised to show up later, but Maddie knew that she wouldn't be staying for long as soon as she stepped inside.

Crystal chandeliers cast a sparkling light on the people beneath them. Maddie felt small, inadequate even, as she looked down at her boringly black dress.

Maddie cradled her baby bump and searched the room for Lillian, who was nowhere to be found in the sea of too familiar faces. People she hadn't seen for years were suddenly all gathered at the same place. The thought of small talk made her want to puke.

"Well, if it isn't Maddie Ruston!" Lillian's distinctively shrill voice startled Maddie and her whole body answered with a jump.

"Lily," Maddie blurted as they kissed each other's cheeks. Lillian held a hand out for Kathy to shake and focused on Maddie again, "I hear you got married. And pregnant, obviously! Congratulations! I saw the picture of you in the paper; how did it manage you to lock him down?" Lillian laughed ironically, but it was clear that she meant what she said. Maddie laughed along, just falsely enough to sound sincere.

"I tried desperately for months to turn him down, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Apparently, he was just too enamored by me," Maddie lied and raised her fake laughter. She just wanted to see Lillian's reaction. And much to her pleasure, Lillian's grimaced, looking almost disgusted.

"But enough of about me," Maddie spoke as he presented the little pink box to Lilian, "congratulations."

For a moment, the thankfulness in Lillian's eyes seemed genuine, but the 'thank you' she proceeded to exclaim seemed anything but good-natured.

Luckily, Lillian went on to speak with her other guests, and Maddie exhaled and felt like she could breathe freely again.

"What just happened?" Kathy looked at her sister, confusion written on her face.

"What do you mean?"

"I've never seen you act that way around anyone. Not even around your inlaws. Are you sure you are okay?"

Maddie furrowed her brows, "yes, I am. Get out of my hair, okay? It's just strange seeing all these people again." She took a sip of her sparkling water. It felt strange being at a celebration without Jack. He usually made her confident, made her relax, and she didn't even know how to act without him around. Everything just made more sense in his company.

"We can go home now," Maddie grabbed Kathy's arm, pulling her along. However, just as they were headed towards the exit, Maddie spotted a familiar set of brown locks that she never thought she would see in a place like this. Actually, she never thought she would see those locks again. She stopped dead in her tracks, excused herself to Kathy, and disappeared into the crowd of people.

There he was, with a tray of champagne coupes in his hand, looking dashing as ever in his white buttondown and black dress pants. "James?" his name sounded like a prayer on her lips. Though his back was facing her, she knew it was him. As he turned around, he sported a big sheepish grin on his face. He was just as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

"I've missed you so much," he said in a child-like manner as he resisted the urge to grab and kiss her.

They stood beside each other, looking out at the party so no one would discover the tension between them. James let his hand brush, not so accidentally, against Maddie's. A heavy wave of guilt washed over her. She was disgusted by herself. She wanted him.

"Your hair has gotten longer," she stated. Her pearl earrings dangled from her ears as she nodded in the direction of his head.

"And you're pregnant," he echoed her actions and nodded at her belly. He hid it well, but Maddie still saw a hint of hurt and desperation in his eyes.

Maddie looked down and fiddled with her hands as they suddenly felt empty.

"Do you want to get out of here?" James didn't look at her but merely looked around the room, making sure none of his colleagues discovered that he had stopped serving the guests.

Blood rushed to Maddie's face, making her red all over. "Easy now, Romeo!" she laughed. Her pearly whites flash, and she lifts a hand to cover her mouth.

He panics, and it looks like his eyes are about to pop out of his face, "no, no, I mean outside, for a smoke?" Maddie laughs at his attempt to save the situation. He still cares about her impression of him. She likes that.

James placed the tray of coupes on a clothed table and led the way to a roofed terrace. It was near midnight, and a soft breeze made Maddie shiver. A few cars could but heard in the distance, but other than that, they felt entirely isolated from the world around them.

As James searched for a lighter, Maddie swayed her body back and forth uncomfortably, trying to stay warm. James noticed and moved to stand before her, a cigarette yet to be lighted in his mouth. He didn't have an overcoat to offer her, so he placed his hands on her arms and ran them up and down, creating friction.

"Thanks," she awkwardly stated. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here?" The last time Maddie had seen him, he was still working at the tiny bistro his father owned. The thought of him serving at a fancy restaurant like this was strange to her. He seemed too good and kind for that.

He moved to stand beside her, "We needed the money. Ma is getting worse. She's constantly ill and can't work. And pa is out of it." He took a look drag of his cigarette.

"I'm so sorry, Jamie," she let her hand caress his shoulder, oppressing the stabbing sensation of guilt she felt all over her body. "You know I'll gladly help you out with money."

He shook his head. He was too proud to take money from her, and he was sure his parents wouldn't want him to either. "Never," he muttered, slightly insulted at her offer.

James cleared his throat to move on, and Maddie's gazes flickered up as he smirked and moved closer to her. He searched her eyes for something, but Maddie wasn't sure for what. Although there still was a gap between their bodies, she felt the heat radiating off of him. He cupped her cheeks as their lips meet in a hungry kiss. Her hands move to tangle themselves into his thick brown hair, drawing him closer. His name escapes her lips in a soft whisper carried away into the cool summer air. Their tounges dance in perfect harmony until Maddie's belly bumps against him. Something about him touching her pregnant stomach seemed so vulgar that she had to pull away.

Still caressing her hair, his intoxicatingly blue eyes were squinted together in a worried expression, "What's wrong?"

"Everything!" she yelled, frustrated and angry at herself, "we can't do this, James. You know we can't," she stroked his cheek, "I have to go." Maddie turned away from him before his gloomy face gave her more guilt to cope with if that even was a possibility.

She sporadically searched for Kathy inside, and at last, found her chatting with a far too well-known tall and charming fellow. Seeing his face made her feel a strange blend of relief and weakness, and she couldn't find out which one was more prominent.

"Jack," she pulled him in for a kiss, which he was visibly surprised by.

"What a welcome," he chuckled, pecked her lips sweetly again, and rested his hand on her lower back. He had arrived only minutes ago but was relieved when Maddie told him she wanted to go.For the whole car ride home, Maddie kept finding excuses to touch him. "I love you," she told him honestly, but also as a remind herself where her loyalty was. Or at least where it should be. She felt drunk but hadn't even had a drink. How the hell was she supposed to claw her way out of this one, let alone forgive herself?