The Onion King ✌

Chapter One ★

"teh fookin king is dead!" one of the fake ass frog soldiers had shouted from the place the king had died.

"what?!" i scream, my green ears twitching. "Ogres are like layers, and cakes." I say as i violently fap to the water fountain behind the frog soldier.

I turn around to see fiona the slut with her green skank ass bitch skin, she also owns a stripper fairy costume and is a sexy moisturizer. 

I then see Beyoncè who is dancing with 3 black donkeys and kim kardashian who is telling all the frog fuckers to check out her new clothing line. 

I face fiona again to is crying while fucking donkey. "FIONUHH!" I shout in my scottish accent. "Cum halp mi here!" i shout, "Your dad is being a fake bitch," I say as i inhale the great scent of asshole through my sniffing holes.

I pick up Fionas dead frog dick of a dad and carry him to the far far away police department.

"shrek tastic asshole bitch titties far far farquad?" the woman calls over the speaker inside the lobby of the police office.

"This bitch deadddddddddd niggah." I say throwing The frog dick onto the marble counter top.

"sure is sugar boo." she speaks, "Name?" she asks me as she whips out her handcuff dick and puts it around my wrist.

"shrek dick," I reply. "hmm, ok. is there a middle name there sugar tits?" she asks.

"ye." i say. "can I please have him in a carry bag?" I ask

"ooo, yes but thats a extra $20 fee." she says as she lets out a large queef. "ugh, k"

i reply pulling out $20.05. "Keep the change sugar boo." I say. 

she places the money into the register. "would you like to be seated in the breathing or non breathing section of the plane?" she asks me. "Im going on a plane?!11!!!!!111" i question raising my eyebrows.

she lets out a laugh. "Of corse, royal family is always burried overseas bae." she says.

"so, breathing or non breathing section?" she asks again. "uhhh, breathing?" i answer whipping out a suitcase out of my ass cheeks and placing it on the counter.