reality

Tori

I want to be held by her
To know that she's safe
I still miss her presence
But the tears won't bring her back

The longing for hugs from her
Is just a cruel reminder
She's gone, she has been since I was seven
I still miss her like it happened yesterday

I didn't know how to cry
Out of sadness and longing
For her to still be here
When her viewing came

I remember saying she didn't look the same
She was skinny like a stick before
But on that day her body was bloated
I didn't understand

And now my grandmother passed away
The one person I wish could hold me can't
I wish those deaths were a nightmare
But they weren't

They are part of my reality
Of having to move on
Even though people I know will die
And leave the world behind

Just a little more hopeless
And lifeless
Enveloped in a slow
Thickening darkness