reality

Loss and Fear

Wake up sweating
Don't know if that was real

Limp in my arms
My grandmother lied

"It was just a dream"
I try to tell myself

Unconvinced
Crying
Scared of that possibility
Of that reality
Made in my mind

Made me cry
Tried to say I was fine,
But I couldn't lie

Dad says
he understands
the dreams haunting
My mind, overwhelmed

Unconvinced
That reality
Strong in my mind
Pulls me down
To insanity

Can't dry the tears
Stinging at the corners of my eyes
They fall as I try to cope
With her being gone

I can't wrap my mind around it
Such an amazing person
Pulled away so quickly

Broken thoughts
Match my broken mind

Can't process the pain
Wasn't taught how to
Can't process this giant emotion

Crying won't bring her back
So why do I cry almost non-stop
When her memory comes to mind?

I'm scared to lose another
I don't think I can choke down any more pain

I'm already over-fed with it
Yet it seems that more gets served
And I get held at gunpoint to stomach it all

Don't know if I can take it,
but I'll try to stay strong.