"i love you, lee charyeong."
"i love you, kang taehyun."
she can still feel him.
his warm palms on her skin, comforting her in any possible way he can.
his soothing and calm voice that makes her sleep every night.
his big doe eyes which ignites a full emotion of love whenever it meet hers.
his cute little smiles and giggles whenever they are together.
in a blink of an eye. it all shattered.
"come home, taehyun" a hundreth time she spoke those words
her tears are the only thing keeping her alive. it's been a week since the funeral.
she didn't attend. she can't accept it. maybe, if she sleeps all of it will be gone, maybe it's just a dream.
taehyun, will come home. she said.
yet, there was none. no one showed up. and there she was in deep pain. crying her eyes out. trying to muffle her cries every night, trying not to sob by the fact that he is gone
she continued crying again that night, her eyes in pain, her heart in pain. everything about her is in deep anguish.
she hugs herself to feel something.
perhaps, she's become numb.
she hasn't been eating. she's dehydrated. her face swollen, and she feels empty and tired.
"this is better... if i continue this i'll meet taehyun in no time," she chuckled bitterly at what she thought
that night, she dreamed of him.
he was in a garden... full of flowers she likes.
she cried.
but this time, she cried on his shoulders.
like how she used to when she failed her exam, like how she did when she disobeyed her parents to live with him.
the feeling was familiar. she doesn't wanna let go. afraid that once she blink her boyfriend will be gone
she was home. for a while.
"I see you're not grasping this lightly," he chuckled while staring at the girl resting on his shoulder
"how can I?" she asked, full of pain
he sighed, "what should we do?" he asked
"are you real? or is this just an hallucination?" she asked eventhough she knew the answer
he smiled.
"you missed me too much." he said with a small smile
chaeryeong nodded her head as she smiled bitterly.
'it's my mind making things up,' she thought
"I left my face on earth, you'll see." he joked talking about his photos
"I don't wanna wake up anymore, sol. I want to stay with you," chaeryeong spoke in a quavering voice
"live for me, sol." he said as he closed his eyes
right after that, chaeryeong went back to reality.
a reality where her taehyun is no longer existing.
"it hurts, sol. how do I keep living without you?" she whispered into thin air
....
few weeks after that chaeryeong has decided to fulfill taehyun's wish for her.
she didn't end her life eventhough she felt like hanging herself everyday, everytime she's home
she continued smiling like she's not carrying an invisible boulder on her shoulders.
the pain. is still there.
it will always be.
afterall, taehyun was the first person to accept her for who she was.
'even if the world turned its back on you, i will stay.' that's what he always say, and yet he left.
