HELP

Madison (OCD)

Madison P.O.V-

I woke up and got up from be and I then carefully laid my bed but it seem to be crooked I kept fixing because I felt something was wrong always this has become a habit every morning after I felt like it was perfect I went to the bathroom and open the door carefully step in with my left leg like I always do and then head to the sink and wash my hand at least 5 times and I then brushed my teeth twice, I of course had to wash the sink like I do every morning. I then stepped into the shower left foot first again and I took my shower and carefully scrubbed my body like 10 times until it was red and felt all the germs disappear, I then got out of the shower and wrapped my towel around me which I change everyday. I went back into the room and stepped out left foot first again I then went to get my clothes from the closet and carefully set it down on the dresser in my walk-in closet, I then put my clothes on pants first then my t-shirt the jacket and then my socks and shoes, I then sprayed a bit of perfume and took wipes out of the dresser and use it to carefully wiped the dresser and stepped out the closet left foot first obviously, I then left the room. I then headed to the dining table and carefully pulled out my wipes from the edge of the table and wiped the chair before I pulled it out and wiped the seat before I sat on it. I also took different wipes and wiped the table. I took my seat and my food was served. I took the towel and cleaned the utensil, I then heard footsteps from the stairs, it was my brother who then sat down in front of me and started eating. I am still very concerned about him and Cammie like what if he likes her, he is already blushing do everything she does and after what happened yesterday, I'm scared for Kai, before I could stop myself I said "stay away from Cameron" Kai looked at me confused "Why she seems nice" I just sighed "Never mind" i got up and carefully pushed my chair in and wiped my hands and disposed the waste on the plate and the tissue in the trash near the dining table. I was about to leave but I kept feeling the need to check my room again, I went back there and looked and make sure everything was perfect, I did that like 3 times before I finally calmed down and took the key and walked to the door, grabbed my backpack that is sitting on the rail by the door, I went out to my car and Kai was already there, I tossed him the keys, me and him always go to school together. I can't drive because with my OCD I can't concentrate because I'm in constant fear I will get in accidents, and I starts imagining a disturbing scene, the first time I tried to drive I crashed thank god I survived, ever since then Kai was in-charged of driving me around or a driver. When I got to the car I carefully pulled out wipes from the side of my backpack, wiped the handle and then opened it and I stepped in.

When we got to school, Kai was quick to jump out of the car to open the door for me, when we then walked to the entrance, he opened the door for me again, I was confused he then said "We are almost late, we can't have you wiping everything 50 times" I was hurt by that but try not to show it, its not my fault that there are so many germs and bacteria on everything, thinking about germs I quickly ran to be bathroom because I felt like there were germs on me, I quickly took out my own personal soap and open the tap forgetting to wipe it, I started to wash my hands repeatedly until my hands were red, I then remembered that I didn't clean the tap before opening it, I then heard voices in my head scream out germs over and over again, I then started washing my hands again until my hands was really red and blistered, I then broke down and started crying, why am I like this, I know my parents and siblings are worried but I can't help it, I have thought about committing suicide in disturbing ways whenever I'm in my obsessive thinking state, but luckily my parents always seem to notice and stop me before I do anything bad or risky. I don't know what I will do without them. I then took wipes and closed the tap with it and disposed of it. I then pulled out tissue and wiped my face with it, I then pulled out another wipes to open the tap and then took my soap and washed my hands, I only washed it once. I then took the wipes and turned off the tap and disposed of it, I then returned everything into my bag and walked out before feeling the urge to wash my hands again. I then walked to class and pulled out a wipe to open the door, my teacher then said "Ms. Davis, why are you late to my class?" I just said sorry and went to my seat, luckily there is someone who wipes my seat down every morning because my teacher says I take up his class time when cleaning. I carefully set my backpack down under my desk and pulled out my journal which I carefully set on the right side of the table like I always do. I also pulled out my pencil bag and set it directly in the center of the table, I have a line in the center of the table so it's easier. I then took my book and sat in the center in front of the pencil bag and opened it and took a pencil out of my pencil bag and set it in the open book and returned the pencil bag to the center of the table and then started taking notes. School went by so fast and then it was time for the group session. I headed over to the room and took out my wipes and opened the door and closed the door then disposed of the wipes , when I walked in there was only Cam and Brooks in a questioning position, Cam was sitting on the table and Brooks was sitting on the chair so Cams leg was by Brooks side. "Hi" I said, Cam then got off the table and I saw a little disappointment in Brooks face "Hi, mon amie" It's always interesting to hear Cam speak French, Brooks then walked over to us and stood in the middle of us "Notice anything different" she said, I was confused because I don't know what's different "Umm No" I nervously said "What do you mean, I'm more prettier now" Brooks said and I rolled my eyes "You look the exact same as everyday but sure if you say you are more prettier" I said to her, she then pulled Cams towards me and I took a step back to keep distance "Cams noticed that I was prettier, only special people notice perfection" She said and walked away pulling Cams with her, I then wiped down the seat and when I was about to seat Mackenzie and Cammie came in. I sat down and I noticed that Mackenzie was back to her normal self "Girl your other side Kenzie is crazy, she legit almost cut my face with a knife luckily her aim was good" Cammie said as she sat down next to Brooks and Cam's table who are seating in the same position they were when I came in. Kenzie then said "I am very sorry whatever Kenzie did and I'm happy no one you were hurt" We all just said it was fine. She then went and took her seat next to Kenzie. I finally decided to get the courage to walk up to Cams and confronted her "I think you should apologize for what you did yesterday and also kindly stay away from my brother " She looked at me and then put her legs on the desk and put her airpods in and rolled her eyes, but I heard her whisper "No seré yo el que diga lo siento al final" I thought she was black but apparently she was afro-latina. I just went back to my seat and we were all talking about what happened today. I told them about what happened in the morning and they consoled me except Cams, who doesn't seem to care.

Correct me if I made any mistake. Also I would not be able to upload on Friday I'm having writer's block, but I will update next Wednesday. Thank You