My Sweetheart's Psyche

Believe Me

As the echo of my words faded away, the silence that surrounded us was deafening. He stared at me as if looking for an explanation. Honestly, I was still looking for it myself.

Arthur broke the silence first.

"What do you mean 'they are me'?"

I sighed and rubbed my temples. I guess the best explanation I could give would be filling in the blanks to his missing memory. And it was probably best to start from the beginning.

"Do you know anything about your family?" I asked. "What your life was like before Thomas?"

He still seemed confused as to how the two things were connected, but I could tell he was thinking about it carefully. After a while, he shook his head slowly.

"Thomas mentioned an accident, but I don't remember anything myself," he admitted.

I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get through all this if I was looking at him. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"When you were ten years old, your mother, father, and younger brother died in a car accident," I explained. "I'm guessing you already know you had no other family. You were basically alone."

"Oh... Well, that is tragic." His voice sounded more confused than upset. "Umm, I'm sure Thomas probably told me the details at some point in my life. I can't really remember though. You know my memory isn't the best."

"That's... kind of what I'm getting at," I sighed. "After the accident, you went through some... trouble. Mentally."

"I suppose that makes sense," he admitted. "After all, you said I was a child and I guess blocking something like that from my memory had to be easier than dealing with it. But what do my family or my memory problems have to do with your boyfriends?"

I gripped the arms of the chair tightly. Even with my eyes closed it felt like the room was spinning. Arthur seemed to be understanding enough right now, but he didn't know the full truth yet. Would he understand what I was trying to tell him? Would he be able to handle it?

"Anna?"

My eyes opened automatically at the sound of his voice. He didn't look angry anymore. His face was gentle, concerned. However, he didn't look like he was concerned about whatever I had to tell him. He looked like he was concerned about me.

"Arthur... you know I love you, right?" I almost pleaded. "Even with all this stuff going on, I swear I do. You know I do. Don't you?"

He looked shocked. A faint blush returned to his cheeks. That blush brought me some comfort. He cleared his throat and looked at the ground.

"Well... Yes. I know that," he mumbled. "We're having some trouble right now, but that doesn't mean that I think you don't love me. I mean, I haven't stopped loving you. I wouldn't be fighting this hard for you otherwise."

I smiled at him weakly. "And, since you know I love you, you know I'd never want to do anything to hurt you. That I'd only say something hurtful if I thought that it would help you in some way. That I thought it was the best thing for you. You know that too, right?"

"I-I guess? Anna, your not making much sense. What's going on? What do your boyfriends and all this have to do with each other? Why do you look so scared?"

I let out a dry laugh and shook my head. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. Even through my clouded vision, I could see Arthur starting to panic. His head was darting left and right as if the answer was somewhere nearby. He had a look on his face that seemed to question why things like this always happened to him.