As Long As You Love Me

Chapter 11

Matt's PoV

I still haven't gotten over the fact that Oliver is going to die. I mean, he isn't supposed to. He's fucking 16 years old. He needs to be out and about, living his life.

Protecting me from myself.

I've spend the whole week next to Oliver, not letting him out of my sight, unless the doctors told me to get some rest. And when I did so, I said goodbye to him as if I was never going to see him again.

I mean, it could well be the last time I saw him.

When we were together, we watched TV, played video-games (we were allowed to bring his Xbox over, as an exception to the rules), or did other fun stuff.

We kinda made the place unsafe.

Oliver was too weak to walk, but he wasn't connected to any appliances anymore and he wasn't confined to his hospital bed.

We weren't allowed in the lobby anymore, though. Not since we almost ran over two elderly people in into another wheelchair. I got yelled at by the doctor and my mother, because it was irresponsible of me to drive around with a sick person like that.

I hadn't even cut this week because I was too occupied with Oliver.

I had heard about what had happened to Carter and as much as I had wanted to catch the next flight and visit him, I needed to stay for Oliver.

It happened when we were watching TV in Oliver's room.

We had been laughing at something, before Oliver suddenly grabbed his chest.

"It's happening, Matt."

I immediately shot up and looked at him, wide eyes. "No. No, you can't be. Not yet. No!" I said, starting to cry.

Oliver smiled. "Don't worry, Matt. It's all going to be alright."

"No, it's not! Who's going to protect me? I need you! You're my best friend! I can't lose you! Who would I confide in when your gone?"

Oliver winced in pain, before saying: "Matt, calm down. You'll be fine. You're an amazing person and others will see this soon enough. Meanwhile, you have Carter. I know I overreacted a bit the other day. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," I said, still crying.

"Can you give him this envelope next time you see him? Don't read it. Just give it to him," he said, grabbing an envelope out of a drawer next to his bed, still wincing.

"I will, I promise," I said.

"Matt, I need you to accept Carter into your life. I know you love him and I know he hurt you, but I'll be dead in a minute and I don't want to leave you behind with nothing. Let him in, confide in him. And, please, Matt, get better. Stay clean and certainly don't kill yourself. Not even for me. I'll manage without you and I'll see you in heaven when you're all old and wrinkly, while I still look like my beautiful 16-year-old self." He laughed, and I laughed with him, albeit weakly. He then grabbed his chest again.

"Matt, I love you. Never forget that."

And then, he was gone.

Just like that.

His lifeless body laid there, eyes closed. He looked... Peaceful...

The rest was all a bit blurry. The doctors came rushing in to write down the time of death and do a bit of post mortem research. All the while, I sat in a chair at the edge of Oliver's bed, sobbing uncontrollably.

I cried my eyes out. It hurt. Losing the one person that means the world to you. He knew me like no one else did. Even better than my mother.

He knew about my depression, my struggles with coming to terms with my sexuality, my self-harm... Hell, he even knew I absolutely hate pickles and knew what to buy me for my birthday.

He could well have been my boyfriend. I've never thought about him like that, though. I thought of him as my brother, nothing more, nothing less.

Other people thought we were boyfriends, however. Mostly because he always stood up for me and no one else would do such a thing.

My life is going to be a living hell, now that Oliver is gone.

Realizing this got me crying even harder.

No matter what he thought, I needed him.

I'll be lost without him.

-o-O-o-

Carter's PoV

"No, Carter you will not be going to Virginia," my mom said for the umpteenth time that day, after the umpteenth time I asked her if I could go visit Matt.

"But mom, his best friend just died, he needs me! I'm all he has left now!"

"He has his family to support him. You need to recover."

"Mom, I have recovered! I am not depressed! The bandages can almost come off and I have got all my energy back!"

"You will not be going, and that's final."

I rolled my eyes and leaned back into the pillows, on the verge of tears. Matt needed me. He didn't say so, but I could hear it in his voice. Pleas for help.

Oliver was the glue that held him together, and even that sometimes wasn't enough, so now that he's gone, Matt's condition will probably worsen. And that's why I need to be there. I need to help him, but my stupid mother won't let me.

I pulled at my hair in frustration.

Wait, I am forcibly seeing this shrink, right? Well, maybe I can get her to convince my mom to let me go!

"What are you smiling evilly for?" Damian asked, walking in.

"Hm? Oh, I may have found a way of visiting Matt."

Damian's eyes widened. "No, you can't go! You're too weak!"

"I am not, Damian. Of all people I'd expected you would definitely understand."

"I do, but I still don't think you should go."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to love him and you can only achieve that by not seeing him."

"Why wouldn't you want me to love Matt?" I asked, already feeling what was coming.

Damian blushed. "Because I love you."

DON'T HATE ME FOR NOT UPDATING I'M SORRY!

If you cried, I've accomplished something XD So, yeah...

Buh-bye!