As Long As You Love Me

Chapter 5

Matt's PoV:

I managed to get through this week without too much difficulty. That is, when you compare it to how I get treated usually.

Because Oliver walked me home everyday, I couldn't easily be beaten up by Dave and therefore I hadn't cut everyday. Only when the hate from my "fans" became too much. I'd told Oliver about it, and he told me to put away my phone for a while but I didn't want to. It was my only form of contact with Carter and the other boys.

Speaking of Carter, we've gotten even closer (if that was possible), and he told me about this girl he met. Filled with jealousy, I had gone to her Twitter and Instagram page to stalk her and see what she looked like.

Needless to say, I had a huge crack on the screen of my phone from when I had thrown it across the room. She was fucking pretty! I got even more jealous when he told me she would be coming to the next Magcon. As a fan, of course. Only Oliver got special treatment, thanks to yours truly.

Damian and Michelle were coming too. I got them a nice discount, so they wouldn't have to pay too much.

I abuse my rights as one of the main entertainers so much...

-o-O-o-

Me, Carter and Oliver were currently sitting in Oliver and I's hotel room. They were talking about typical straight-guy-stuff (boobs, cars, the booty, more boobs, you know the drill), while I was on my phone, biting my lip and trying to hold back tears.

"So like i came to the conclusion that @TheMattEspinosa needs to die. whos with me?"

She had 1300 retweets...

I tweeted her back: "You wanna know how many fucks I give about that? Let's see... 1... 2... 3... Oh, they flew away. See ya ;)"

I know it wasn't a great comeback, but I had to think of something. I had to appear strong to my fans. I don't want them to worry.

I saw many notifications coming in, saying things like: "Slay Matt!" and "Don't let them bring you down. You're awesome! <3"

I smiled. My fans are so sweet sometimes.

"Why are you smiling? Seen the booty?" Carter smirked. "Come on, lemme see her."

I forgot, Carter doesn't know I'm gay! None of the boys do! They would think I'm a freak!

Oliver gave me a questioning look, and I gave him a look that said: "He doesn't know, so shut up!"

"What am I missing? Something wrong?"

"Nah, but Matt needs to tell you something, though."

"OLIVER!" I screamed.

"He needs to know, Matt. You can't be friends when you're hiding stuff from him." By that he meant more than just coming out to Carter, but I was definitely not going to tell him about the other stuff. Him knowing about my bulimia (which I kept denying I had) was already enough.

"What's up?" When I didn't answer, he added: "Matty, you can trust me."

"I know I can, but this has brought me so much trouble already. I'm afraid to tell you..."

"It's okay. I won't judge you."

I nodded weakly. "I-I am... Uhm... G-Gay," I stuttered out awkwardly.

Carter's eyes widened and he didn't say anything.

"Oh, my God. I knew this was gonna happen," I said standing up and running out of the room.

"Matt, wait!" I heard Oliver say.

Matt, stupid fucktard! You knew he was gonna react like this! Are you fucking stupid?!

I only stopped running when I found myself on the roof of the hotel.

Perfect. Just perfect.

I looked at the skyline of Dallas. It looked really impressive...

This is high enough to kill me... I should jump. It'll end it all.

The pain... The hate... It'd make the world a better place...

I was about to jump when the door burst open.

"MATT DON'T!" I heard Oliver scream. I felt someone pull me from the ledge.

I started sobbing into Oliver's shoulder, him hugging me tight.

"Don't go back to that. Matt, please don't..." he whispered.

"I'm sorry..." I sobbed.

"Carter's not angry. He was just surprised. He hadn't thought of you as gay, that's all."

"Really?"

"Really," Carter's voice came from behind Oliver.

"Carter..."

"Matt, I don't mind. I really don't. I still love you. I didn't mean to make you sad or anything. I was just really surprised."

I was quiet for a while, then said: "I'm sorry for scaring you two like that. I just wanted some fresh air."

"It's okay," Carter said.

Oliver's squeeze in my shoulder told me he didn't believe me, but Carter took the lie. At least, he didn't go into it any further.

Carter's PoV:

I was right. Matt is broken. He's so insecure. There's nothing wrong with being gay.

He's hiding something more, though. I saw the look Oliver gave him.

There's way more to Matt Espinosa than meets the eye, I've come to that conclusion already, but I think Matt's more broken than I initially thought.

I don't even know if I can fix him.

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I'm so sorry for not updating last week! I was really busy with school!

Comment and vote and I'll love you forever! (I don't even think someone's still reading this but whatever XD)