Almost Maybes

Sophomore Year

The library had been my comfort zone during exam week. An hour of studying in this place prior to taking the tests had helped me pass all preceding exams. After this day, final exams would be over and all the students would be relieved. We were able to survive two years in college. I just hoped the two succeeding years would feel like crossing a hanging bridge without the fear of losing balance. If the worst-case scenario happens, the crocodiles await us as its prey.

I was alone, Kirsten, my best friend, was still taking one of her exams. The scheduled test was not until lunch time, but I already wanted to take it in advance so I could go back home and forget about exams. Also, to read the pending novels I had on the shelf. This exam week had been keeping me away from getting my nose under the books I wanted to read.

"Hey, Conde."

I didn't have to look up from my textbook to gaze at the person who called my name. The voice was familiar enough for me to roll my eyes without even looking at him.

"Hey, Asis," was my reply. I didn't revert my attention from the textbook to him.

"How did your accounting exam go?" he asked.

"Will take it in an hour. I wouldn't say I'm looking forward to seeing my score."

Rex was the one who's good at numbers, though I wonder why he kept on complaining about his accounting subject. He was an accountancy major, it gave him an advantage to learn the ropes on this subject the easy way. Meanwhile, I was already looking forward to parting with my accounting subjects. They kept on giving me headaches.

"I can help you to review. We've got ample time to discuss the subject."

"An hour wasn't enough for me. Thanks, but I'm no longer reviewing that subject."

What is he doing here anyway? How did he know I was here, studying?

I knew him. He was trying to distract me.

"All right," he said.

But he didn't leave.

"Don't you have exams today?"

"All done."

"Wow."

I almost said that in a whisper. I looked over at him, arched one eyebrow, and didn't say anything. Lucky guy. Goofing around and pestering the one who was trying to be studious.

"Hey, Conde." he whispered. "Let's make a deal."

"What? Can't you see I'm busy right here? Go find yourself someone to bother."

Arguing in the library was not a good idea. We were like kids sharing secrets with each other, speaking in a low voice, avoiding to attract the attention of the librarian on duty. Students were supposed to stick their noses into the books, be a geek, but not in our case. Rex and I could easily start an argument, anytime, anywhere, when we were together.

"Don't be a chicken, Conde. This will be our last deal before this semester ends. We won't be classmates anymore next semester. Please."

Did he just use the word please? Yes, Ivy, he did. Please don't ask questions with an obvious answer.

He sounded sincere.

I thumbed through the page of my English book, and without catching his gaze, I said. "What is it this time?"

Every time he wants to do a deal with me, I end up losing.

"If I got a 1.25 final grade in one of my major subjects this sem, we're going on a date."

I looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"That's a deal. Good luck on your exams." He said, walking away from me.

I heard the librarian saying her famous words, tone down your voice.

The girl sitting at the table smiled. "A nice dress suits you," she said.

She must have overheard everything. I gave her a shy smile.

"I know him. We're in the same class," she went on. "I assure you he's acquainted with numbers. He just got a flat one in our last test."

That was how he asked me out, for the first time, as a girl and not as someone he constantly annoys.

But that date didn't turn out fine. I stood him up on our first date. I thought he was fooling around when he made that offer. That didn't stop Rex from doing what he wanted and getting the things he aimed to achieve.

"You took your time to memorize me. My fears, my hopes and dreams. I just like hanging out with you."