Almost Maybes

Chapter 13

I'd been praying for him.

I kept on wondering if I had met the right one, or it was just the idea I had in mind that I finally found the person whom my soul loves.

Unquestionably, I saw him as the perfect person made for me. Whenever I was at church, I asked Him if this thing going on between us was His will, or if we were really destined to be with each other. I'd been asking Him if double happiness would be there for me until the end of the unidentifiable ending.

That was the prayer before Rex was diagnosed with leukemia. Now, the only prayer I could utter to make him stay longer is: Lord, please heal him. Please give him more time to live.

I know I've been constantly asking a lot in my prayers. I know He listens every time I call on to Him. He never abandoned us, never will. All I need to do is wait for His answers. Along with waiting is acceptance. Whatever it is that He wants to happen in my life, in Rex's life, is what He has planned.

The past months have been a roller coaster ride. A lot can happen in just a blink of an eye. So, while we still have time, make the most out of it.

I was on my way to church, the same church where Rex and I used to go back in college. I decided to drop by just to give thanks, and maybe find some time alone. There were thousands of reasons to be grateful for. First, for my growing family - dad and mom were able to reconcile after a long time - but they still chose to live separately.

My brother had also been rekindling a relationship with dad, especially now that there was already someone who would urge him to do that. I'd been looking forward to attending my brother's wedding day for a year or so.

Second, for the opportunity to be back in college again. Last month, I finally decided to enroll and just see where it would take me. Fortunately, I'd been enjoying what I was doing, the school, the new environment, the young classmates I had.

Lastly, for being continually blessed. I could go on with the list, but those are the primary reasons why living wasn't just about struggles and difficult times. In every dark corner, there's always a ray light waiting ahead.

I was taken aback when I saw Perry before he saw me. He was walking out from the church; he'd made an abrupt stop the moment he caught sight of my appearance. I was standing inches away from him, and suddenly became unsure of what to say and do.

Maybe we were both shocked to see each other here. He was the last person whom I expected to come across with, especially at this place.

In his most casual way, he beckoned and waved a hand without smiling. Amused by what he did, I returned a shy smile to compensate for his own version of friendliness toward me. Without doubt, he was trying to be nice, and I appreciated his manner.

I wanted to speak to him and ask, what was he doing here? Unfortunately, no words came out of my mouth.

Still standing a couple of steps away, "Hey," he said.

I responded by also saying hey. I was out of words whenever I tried to talk to Perry. His presence alone was enough to make me feel ill at ease around him.

We stood there, staring at each other for a moment. Hesitant if I should depart or stay a little longer, I rove my eyes. How should I break the ice? I thought to myself.

"I just want to express how grateful I am to you," he said. "We owe you big time."

"Oh, it doesn't cause me trouble. That was nothing."

He cleared his throat. "Do I make you feel uncomfortable?" he asked.

Maybe he can read my mind.