"I pledge allegiance, to hobama"

Lunch time

*OBAMA'S POV*
I'm setting up the table for dinner.

This is a special dinner, it's Harry's first night back from his world tour. The entire time he was gone, I felt like I lost a part of me.

I missed him deeply, spending every night alone is incapable for me now that i'm with him

But now he's back, although I don't know if that's good or bad

I can finally get my Harold back, after 8 months of missing him

but when he was gone... I did something

It was a mistake, a one time thing

I missed Harry so much, that when I saw her standing in my office... I thought I could use a little distraction

I feel guilty for it everyday, but Harry can"t know...

Harry can never know.

———————-FLASHBACK———————-

As i'm signing my contracts and working on normal president-of-the-united-states things, Michelle walks in

Mine and Michelle's relationship is interesting

We don't hate each other, but we don't get along that much either

Of course no one knows that though, no one but Harry

The entire world thinks we're happily married... well they were right until I met my handsome british boyfriend

Michelle and I used to love each other, we even ran for office together

but the pressures of being president got to us, and we can't do anything about it

not until my term as president is over

"Have you heard the news?" Michelle speaks

"Not yet, i've been busy all day signing all these dumb laws. what's the point of them anyway? if these laws are so important then why weren't they made until now?" I say while rolling my eyes

"Making them is your job, Obama" the bitch states. "I came in to tell you that your boyfriends tour is going to take another two months"

My heart drops.

Harry has already been gone for 6 months, and now he has to be away from me longer!?

"Why is this happening?"

"They decided to join the beginning of Lizzo's tour, which is started the day after Harrys last show"

I start crying

Why would Harry do this to me? Is he trying to leave me? Does he not miss me?

I cry harder, Michelle looks worried

"You know..." she starts, "you don't have to spend all these months missing harry... you could use a distraction" she seductively smiles at me.

"B-but Michelle, we broke up a year ago, and I can't cheat on my Harry"

"Breaking up is a social construct, and don't worry about Harry, I bet he's fucking his band mates tbh"

"Michelle! don't say that" I cry out

"Well, what do you say Obama? wanna slip that member into my entrance?"

Maybe she's right, I could use a distraction these days

I stand up, and make my way to Michelle

"Let's do this!"

and we spend the rest of the afternoon in pleasure

——————-CURRENT TIME-———————

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it

Harry would be wrecked if he found out

The worst part is, I know he would never do this to me. He's probably spent the last 8 months missing me, waiting to come home.

I finish setting the table, our personal white house chef will be done with the food soon

While I wait for Harry to get home, I go to take a fat shit

This poop is the juiciest poop in history

It's so big it hurts

The smell is worst than getting sprayed by a gang of skunks, it's so bad I can feel my nose hairs burning

My stomach and asshole are in pain, i've never had a poop this bad in my life.

I can feel the toilet water splashing every time my gigantic feces drops from my body

The toilet bowl is filling up, I don't know if it can hold all of this. I take the trash can and quickly hover over it.

The toilet is too full to take anymore, i'm going to have to get someone to fix that. I try flushing, but instead it starts spitting the poop out

I cry as I shit into the garbage bin

This is so embarrassing, how am I supposed to clean this? and how do i stop pooping?

I shit my brains out into the trash can

I'm finally finished, after filling up the toilet bowl and trash can, my painful poop is finally over

"I'm home!" I hear a british accent call out from downstairs

shit.