Genderfluid (A Cinderella Story)

5: Blackout

Silver and I didn't speak to each other for a few days after that. Before I knew it, it was Wednesday, a week after we had our lunch in Panera Bread and he found those notes.

He's been avoiding the group since.

"Alright," Adrianna said, slamming her hand down on the table in the cafeteria. Her girlfriend flinched and she murmured an apology, trying to keep the serious atmosphere. "You need to explain what happened. Silver hasn't talked to any of us since last week!"

"Yeah," Darian said, "I'm getting worried. He hasn't been showing up to last period either, so I can't get a hold of him!"

"I saw him talking to some girl in the hallway before I came here," Tina said with a concerned look on her face, perfectly covered in makeup to match her blue outfit.

"A girl?" Leelah asked curiously. "Do we know her?"

"Ergh..." Tina let out, trying to remember the girl's name. "It started with a C... I can't remember right now!"

"Ellie!" Adrianna said, snapping my attention back to her. I looked up from my untouched tray of food with a slight smile.

"Yes?"

"Tell us what happened last week!" Her girlfriend nudged her lightly, and then, with a little cough to cover it, Adrianna added "Please."

"Nothing really happened," I said with a sigh. "We just... Got into a little argument, of sorts."

"An argument?" Leelah asked, Brian taking his seat at the table, next to her.

"Of sorts."

"What was it about?" Darian asked, concerned. I looked to the ground, a feeling between shame and irritation forming inside me. "Ellie...?"

"Notes." I stated sharply. "It was about notes."

"Like, notes you took in class?" Adrianna asked, "Why would he-"

"Notes about me." The table fell silent, Leelah, who was filling Brian in, turned to me in attention.

"I don't..." I cut Adrianna off.

"Someone threw notes on my desk during class," I said loudly, "Making fun of me."

"Making fun of you for what?"

"Well, let's see." I stood up, my emotions that I'd been bottling up for this last week bubbling inside me. I gestured toward myself, currently in a skirt, blouse and tights with boots, and spoke again. "Can anyone tell me why I'd get made fun of?"

"Ellie...?" Leelah murmured sadly. I kept going, my tone rising, gathering quite a bit of attention.

"They were making fun of me because I'm gender fluid. Because of who I am! Because I don't fit society's social norms!" Darian got up from his seat. "I'm a fag, they said. A tranny, an attention whore! I hear it everyday and Silver decided to make a big deal about it and bring it to my attention that-" Arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tightly and cutting off my speech.

"Ellie, stop it. You aren't a freak!" Darian said, "Please don't say that."

"Yeah, Ellie," Maya, Adrianna's girlfriend, said meekly. "Don't listen to anything those people say. It isn't true!" Adrianna's hand found its way to Maya's and they exchanged a sugary look before returning their attention to the problem.

"I just.." I felt tears start to form in my eyes. "I hate that people don't like me because of how I feel... I hate that I can't even go home and feel comfortable about myself because my family thinks I'm gross and weird... I hate..." I felt the tears stream down my face, Darian's embrace only getting tighter around me "to think I'm the reason he isn't coming around anymore..."

"Oh, Ellie!" Leelah cried out, teary eyed. She jumped from her spot and practically jumped onto me.

"I think we need a group hug," Adrianna said. Everyone nodded in agreement and stood, coming over to this gushy pile of people on top of me.

~~~

Four days passed, leading us to Monday morning without a single sign of Silver. I decided to go look for him, since I had thirty minutes or so to get to first period.

I walked around, not finding him. I tried seeing if any of my friends had seen him, but no. Not a one had.

The bell rang and I turned to go to first period. As I approached the door, I saw a familiar head of silver-blonde hair there.

"Oh, Sil-" He was angrily talking to some blonde girl, and a closer look revealed it was Courtney.

"I don't want anymore of that bullshit you pulled on her," He growled, the girl shrinking back. "I'll tell that to your dumb ass boyfriend too."

"Is there a problem here?"

"Oh wow, speak of the devil!" Silver laughed, a six foot two, dark brown haired linebacker coming up to the two of them. Courtney squealed with joy and grabbed his arm, hiding slightly behind him. I whipped out my phone and texted the group.

Guys! I think there's gonna be trouble! Come to room 332!

"Silver!" I called, walking up to him. "I've been looking for you all week. Where've you been?" I laced my arm in his and pulled him back a bit. I could feel the heavy levels of testosterone in the air.

"That's the faggot I was telling you about," I heard Courtney whisper up to the guy, who I assumed was her boyfriend. "It's a boy today..."

"HEY!" Silver shouted, "What your whore mouth!"

"Silver!" I whispered desperately.

"Did you just call my girlfriend a whore?" The boyfriend stepped forward, shoving Silver back a step.

"Don't put your hands on me."

"Okay, whoa fellas." I said, stepping between the two. I put my a hand on each of their chests, seeing Adrianna and Darian quickly walking with Leelah towards us.

"Don't touch me, you fucking faggot!" I heard, getting my hand slapped off Courtney's boyfriend. I turned to him, getting somewhat annoyed.

"Don't put your hand on him." Silver hissed, trying to move me. I stepped closer to this guy than was probably necessary.

"I'm not a faggot!" I said loudly. "Stop calling me that!"

I heard screaming around me as I fell backwards, hitting the floor. I could feel blood pouring out from my nose, but I didn't feel the pain yet.

"Eli! Eli!"

A rush of footsteps, and my vision faded in and out. Adrianna was next to me, holding my hand. I could see Darian and Silver engaging with Courtney's boyfriend, but their screams sounded distant. I felt like everything was underwater, the worried, tear covered faces of Leelah and Adrianna becoming the last things I remembered as the world around me turned dark.