𝘯. 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘱 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 ♡'･ᴗ･'♡

ʰᵉᵃᵈˡⁱᵍʰᵗˢ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵒᵘʳⁱⁿᵍ ʳᵃⁱⁿ

𝒹ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓇𝓎

the rain always calmed me.

im in a bad place at the moment.

school is stressful.

my friends are always fighting.

my family are annoying me.

my relationship is stressful.

everything just seemed hopeless.

i grabbed my keys and put my shoes on.

i glanced at the clock 23:34.

mum and dad would be in bed by now hopefully, otherwise i'm grounded.

i clenched my phone in my hand.

i opened the door quietly, careful not to make any noise and closed it once both my feet were outside.

i made my way down the patio, my hand accidentally turning my phone on.

a picture of me and noah appeared on my screen.

god, this felt like torture.

memories of last month replayed in my head constantly.

the shouting.

the crying.

the meaningless words.

the pain.

he was my rock.

everything was falling apart but i clung onto him and i thought i would never lose him.

and then it came to a sudden hault.

like someone just tore everyone i loved away from me.

so i found myself crying in the rain and laughing.

wondering the empty lanes of my neighbourhood.

the patter of the rain colliding with the floor.

the silent sobs escaping my lips.

i walked slowly, taking in the comforting silence.

bright headlights stopped me in my tracks.

i covered my eyes, blocking the overwhelming light.

the car stopped next to me.

not just any car though.

noah's car.

the engine stopped and the driver's door opened.

i let out a laugh and looked up at the sky.

"y/n."

i laughed and nodded.

"i love the rain." i say, sitting down on the pavement.

i looked like a crazy woman, i was aware.

but i was just well and truly heartbroken.

"y/n."

"it's just so peaceful." i murmur, ignoring him.

tears fall down my face, disguised by the raindrops.

"y/n."

"what! what could you possibly have to say? i know what you think of me! i know how much of a disappointment i am! how clingy and desperate i can be! how i drag you down in front of your friends. it must kill to be with the most miserable girl on the planet. who wears black and hides her emotion by hurting people unintentionally. cause let's be honest, who would want to be with me. god, my family don't even want me!" i laugh, more tears rapidly run down my cheek.

"'stay away from her noah' 'don't mess with her' they said. why didn't you listen? how could you be so stupid to end up with me? god, i hate myself. i've had enough. i really have noah. i'm fed up with pretending i'm okay, getting trampled on, pushed over. my only friend at the moment is my damn cat. an animal. i've lost everyone! my real friends, my family, my hope, my passion and the worst one of all, you. i dealt with everything but losing you tipped me over the edge." i say, finally looking at him.

he stood there, shaking his head.

he was crying, his bottom lip was quivering.

"i've never felt so alone. there's this hole in my heart. i feel so fricking empty inside. you were my reason to get up in the morning, the reason to get ready, look good. now i could really care less. this is the first time in a month that i've brushed my hair. i'm broken. well and truly broken."

noah sits down next to me, he reluctantly pulls me into his arms.

i lean into his touch, sobbing my heart out.

the rain was beginning to get even heavier but i didn't care.

"i'm so sorry."

noah grabbed my chin and looked into my eyes, as if he was searching for something.

"i love you."

i connected our lips.

it was a messy, snotty kiss, wasn't very pleasant but i wouldn't change it for the world.

we sat there for the rest of the night, embracing each other's presence and crying our hearts out.

love is messed up but it's also the best thing that could ever happen to someone.

and i truly am in love with noah schnapp.

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