Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 20: Colin Shea and Ally Darling

Y/N couldn't believe the spot she was in. She laid down on the bed, threw her arms over her face in pure frustration, and seethed with anger. She begged the universe for a pause button on all of this so that she could sort out why she was so furious.

Chris was acting like a hypocrite, but calling her one. A day ago, this was casual sex, and now he wanted her to admit how she felt. As if he knew what that was. Sleeping together, fine. No problem. But feelings? That was a whole other story. She wasn't sure she was ready for feelings, not after Austin. Y/N was too mad to even wrap her head around what was going on.

She wanted to believe that this was just sex. It was just sex. She turned over to face the wall, annoyed, and found herself looking at Chris' side of the bed.

Why did she think of it as 'his' side of the bed?

Because he had wormed his way under her skin.

Shit.

She knew that all of those feelings of jealousy, ugly as they were, came from a place of hurt. She had closed off so much of herself when she was with Austin, to protect herself from the constant pain. But Y/N knew she wouldn't have cared about that girl from the bar if she didn't really care about Chris. She hated to admit it, but she was hurt that he had just tossed her to the side after what had happened the night before.

She was terrible at this friends-with-benefits, casually-sleeping-together thing. Chris was in her system. This was either going to be 'something,' or it would crash and burn epically.

Y/N suddenly had this overwhelming need to leave the room. But she wouldn't, because some part of her still didn't want to admit defeat. And going back out there would mean that Chris was right, that he had won. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Y/N looked at her phone for a few minutes before tossing it aside. She considered just going to sleep. The thought reminded her that her pajamas were still out near the couch, where Chris was. She'd just have to sleep in her underwear, whatever. But Y/N realized it would be impossible for her to sleep with all of these emotions still running through her head.

She buried her face into a pillow to let out a tiny scream and instantly regretted it. She was overwhelmed by the smell of Chris filling her nose.

Her heart ached. She needed to know if Chris meant it when he said that he wanted something more. He said the night before that he liked her, and then spent the day with Deena. It was hard to know what was truthful and what was Chris just saying anything to hype her up. But she knew either way she'd have to go apologize for blowing up at him. Especially when he was right.

Shit.

Sitting up on the bed, Y/N looked towards the door. Before she could change her mind, she stood up and left the room.

She saw Chris leaning forward on the couch. Seeing him made her feel more confident in her decision, especially when he looked so miserable. Y/N had to let her guard down if she wanted things with Chris to keep moving forward.

Y/N walked into the living room.

"Back to yell at me some more?" Chris grumbled. He was looking down, head in his hands, avoiding her eyes.

Y/N took a deep breath in. She walked to stand directly in front of Chris. The reality had finally hit her, and now her biggest fear was that this was all one-sided, that he didn't mean it when he said he felt for her, that she really was nothing but a conquest.

"Well, don't just stand there. Say something, preferably something that won't make me feel like a piece of shit," Chris said through his fingers.

The tension was palpable. Y/N knew that this was the moment; she had to be honest with Chris. She wanted him. And she was pretty sure she wanted more than just a fling. She just didn't know how to tell him.