hardest to love: bucky barnes

twenty.

I couldn't wrap my head around what just happened. I caught my breath before grabbing the door handle and walking out like nothing happened in there. I passed the living room and saw James, Sam, Thor and the twins sitting and talking. James looked over and smirked at me, causing me to walk by quicker so it wouldn't be noticeable.

"Val!" Angelina shouted in excitement when I entered the kitchen. She sat on the counter helping Pepper and Natasha make a dessert treat.

"Hi Angel." I said leaning on the counter next to her.

"Auntie Nat said us girls can all have a sleepover here tonight, is that okay?" She said looking up at me with big eyes.

"Umm... sure, as long as you guys have clothes for tomorrow." I said as Angelina confirmed that Nat washed their clothes they keep here, then I felt someone behind me.

"Yeah Valentina, you wouldn't want them ruining your date with Buck." Natasha said in my ear with a laugh.

"Sure, that's okay Angelina. Go let your sisters know." I said helping her down from the counter.

"I hate you." I said to Natasha causing Pepper and her to laugh.

"Oh, come on! I bet you'll have tons of fun." The red head said winking at me as I rolled my eyes. James and Sam walk in moments later as I grab an apple from the dinning table.

"Want me to cut that for you, doll?" James asks, standing next to me.

"No." I said taking a bite of the apple then feeling him grab my wrist and bite into it himself.

"Taste delicious." He said smugly before sitting down next to Sam when Steve walked in.

"Valentina! Haven't seen you around here in a while." Steve said pulling me into a side hug.

"Hey Steve." I said sitting down in between him and James.

Steve and Sam told me about a mission they had last week. I tried my hardest to focus on what the men in front of me were saying but it was getting difficult with a certain pair of eyes on me. After a while I decided it was time for me to return back to the house, so I said good-bye to the girls and Natasha.

It was around five o'clock when I got home, I threw my keys in the bowl next to the entrance then went to shower. I wasn't ready to have a real conversation with Bucky. It's been months since everything fell apart with us so tonight could go many ways. Once I finished blow drying my hair I slipped on short black silk dress with a slit on my right side of my leg with black flats. I fixed the curls in my hair and applied some makeup before Bucky's arrival. At eight I heard a knock on my door.

"You look beautiful, doll." Buck said as I watched his eyes light up the second I opened the door.

"Thanks. You look good too, Barnes." I said letting him come in. He wore black pants and a black button up, his sleeves were rolled up to the middle of his forearm and the top three or so buttons were undone.

"I brought you flowers. I remembered you told Wanda that you liked lilies." He said holding out white lilies.

I told that to Wanda when Bucky had first moved in, years ago. How did he remember that?

"Yeah I do. Thank you, Buck." I said looking up at him with a warm smile, when he returned the smile I swiftly kissed his cheek before taking the flower and placing them in a clear vase. Bucky sat at the table with two candles lit when I placed the flowers in the center of the table.

"So, what do you wanna do for dinner?" I asked him. " Sorry but I didn't feel like cooking." He laughed.

"It's fine, Val. Maybe we can just order in?" Bucky said as I picked up my phone.

"Pizza sound good?" I asked grabbing a menu as he shook his head in agreement. I ordered the pizza then grabbed glasses.

"It should be here in about forty-five minutes." I said pouring wine into a cup for myself. "Want some?" I asked him as I sat my glass down.

"Yes, please." He said, I handed him is full glass then headed to turn on some light music. I returned back to the table, sat across from him.

"I'm glad you work with those girls. They really look up to you and they look out for you." He said as I sipped my wine.

"Yeah, me too. I love the team but these girls feel like a different type of family... I can't put my finger on it." I paused trying to think of a better word.

"Like daughters?" Bucky said as he smiled at me.

"I guess so, yeah." I said hoping the conversation would move past us.

"Have you thought about adopting them?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"No. Well, I mean, yeah of course I have but I can't." I said in a stuttered wave of words.

"Why not?"

"Irina and Nadia are too old for me to adopt them and even with their help I couldn't adopt the other three without a partner. I've thought about asking Natasha to move in and help me but she loves living in the tower with everyone. I can't ask her to make that sacrifice for me, she's already made too many for me." I said then heard a knock at the door.

"I got it." Bucky said answering the door since he was closest. He handed the man the money on the counter in exchange for the pizza then shut the door. We both grabbed plates and sat back down to eat in what was mostly silence.

I was halfway on my second slice of pizza when I heard Bucky casually say,

"I could help you with the girls."

"What?"

"We could adopt them."

"Why would you want to do that James?"

Oh, James... Don't pull on loose threads.

"Valentina, I know you don't want to hear this and maybe you'll get upset with me after or kick me out and never talk to me again but that's a risk I'm willing to take." He paused getting up to move next to me and take my left hand into his larger ones. I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion at him.

"I have been in love with you for years. You probably thought I hated you that whole time but I spent my time studying you so I wouldn't fuck up when it was my time to be with you, but clearly we know how that played out." I remained quiet but my thoughts were racing. This was a huge commitment and even if James and I agreed to do this, it would have to work for those girls.

"James..." I said softly looking down at our intertwined fingers. He lifts my chin up and our tired eyes meet together and it felt like a force kicked in us at the same time.

It was magnetic and messy. I was crawling into his large lap and my lips were on his. I was grinding on top of him with his hands crawling up my waist, pushing my silk dress up my ass with his metal hand under it. My hands were laced into his short brown hair while he lifted me onto the table, still making out with me.

"James, bedroom." I moaned as he started kissing down my jaw, heading towards my neck. Next thing I knew he lifted me to my bedroom and my dress was on the floor. In that moment it was just us.