In The Punch Line

5∆5

The first problem was when they got to the hotel room.

"Oh," Charles said, opening the slightly recalcitrant door with his electronic key card.

"What?" Eugene asked, lugging their bags in.

Charles pointed at the large double bed in the center of the room, white sheets invitingly pulled back at one corner, chocolates on the pillows.

"At least there's chocolate," Eugene said.

"I'll call down for a roll-away," Charles said, moving to the phone.

The second problem was that the phone did not work.

"I'll go down to the desk," Charles said.

"What  if someone hears you?" Eugene asked, unzipping his bag and hanging several suits in the hall closet. "So much for our fictitious  relationship."

Charles frowned. "Is that a word?" he asked. "I thought it was fictitious."

"I  think they're both words." Eugene looked over at Charles, who sat at the desk with the hotel phone tapping the Ramada Suites pen nervously on the  Ramada Suites pad. "Do you have clothes for me to hang up?" he asked.

"In the big suitcase," Charles said. "They're sort of wadded up, I'm afraid. I don't quite have your sartorial standards."

Eugene unzipped the suitcase and several GQs folded open to the Calvin Klein underwear spread came tumbling out.

"Oh,"

Charles darted over and trying to grab them.

"I-- what are those doing -- I -- er --"

Charles could feel his cheeks burning. Eugene was giving him a very peculiar look.

Of course. Only one bed, a suitcase full of pictures of him in his underwear, he probably thinks you're some sort of horrible pervert who's going to jump him the instant the lights go out.

And now you're thinking about it.

Of course, I'm thinking about it. Did you see his feet?

Oh for God's sake, Charles. He's nice enough to go out of his way to do you a favor, God only knows why, he's lightyears out of your league, and you can't leave well enough alone.

"And here I thought you wanted me for my mind," Eugene said.

"Those aren't for me," Charles sputtered lamely. "I just -- I was going to leave them in the lobby for the unsuspecting."

"Only logical," Eugene said. "I'm your event arm candy, after all, aren't I?"

Charles felt that 'Yes' would be the wrong answer, but he couldn't quite lay his finger on why.

"Yes," he said. He became very aware that Eugene was not looking at him. "Er, no," he ventured.

The blue eyes snapped back to meet his and he felt something strange start dancing in the pit of his stomach. Like that space, slug must have felt after swallowing the Millennium Falcon. "You're my boyfriend of some time who happens to be event arm candy."

"Good,"  Eugene said. The room seemed to have been holding its breath. Now it released.

Then Eugene had managed to extricate Charles' extremely rumpled suit from the suitcase and was moving to hang it up.

"That's for tonight," Charles said, reaching for it.

"If you don't iron this before you wear it I'm not going to be seen in public with you."