I'm In Trouble Deeper

Eight

Linda heard the door being softly opened, and she squeezed her eyes tighter. She heard shuffling, and shoes bouncing on the floor. The bed dipped, and rough finger pads were brushing at her hair. It felt good, and she turned her head slightly into the hand. She wondered how those tough hands would feel over her bare breasts, how her nipple would feel pinched between two fingers. She wondered how they would feel on her ass, or her thighs, or-

"How're you feeling?" Danny's voice came from above her.

"Sick. Tired."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." She cringed at the words, biting her lip. She hadn't meant to say that.

"Linda, are you... are you worried about something?"

"No. Why would you ask that?"

"You just... you don't seem.. happy." His voice was hesitant and almost scared.

She turned to sit up, but fell back against the pillows. She saw Danny react, his hands out reflexively. She started to cry, upset with everything. He wrapped his arms around her, scrunched her hair in between his fingers. She swallowed as she calmed down, ready to tell him what's wrong.

"Danny, every night... every night I went to bed thinking, 'my babies aren't going to have a father. I'm not going to have a husband. I'm gonna be a single mother, living in a too small apartment because Danny's not here anymore. And no ones gonna love me like Danny loved me; no one has, and no one will'." She opened her eyes to look at him. "But now you're here, and it's okay."

He didn't believe that she was okay- not entirely, but he laid down behind her. He put his hand on her big tummy, and she laced her fingers in his. "I love you, Linda. And I'm gonna be ready to talk when you are."

She choked on a sob, and brought his fingers to her lips. Her small "thank you" was barely audible.

*********

It was four in the afternoon when Linda finally felt better. Danny seemed a little restless; he had been in and out of his room various times, keeping Jack occupied while "Mommy wasn't feeling well". She guessed it was because of the time change, and he didn't have to be on guard every second. When he came back into the room, she decided to talk to him.

"Jack's asleep now," he sat next to her on the bed. "Do you want anything?"

She shook her head, "do you know what Mary's making for dinner?"

"She said it was a new recipe- something that you came up with? What was it... oh, Linda Delight. I gotta tell you when I thought of that..."

Linda chuckled, then looked down. "If I wasn't in so much pain, I'd let you have some delight."

He looked a tad guilty, "no, I didn't- I wasn't asking- what even is Linda Delight?"

"It's meat sauce with rice and tomatoes, and red and yellow and orange peppers. Corn makes it better."

"What made you make that?"

"I had a pound of beef left over from burgers, and the peppers were just about to go bad. I didn't have spaghetti noodles, so I made the sauce and dumped in rice with the peppers. I added frozen corn just because I saw it lying there, and a recipe was born."

"That sounds good."

"It is." Silence hung in the air as they avoided looking at each other. "Danny-"

He looked at her, his dark eyes swirling with confusion.

"I... after this baby is born, I don't think I want another one."

"Okay."

"That's it? Okay? You don't want an explanation?"

He shrugged, "it's been tough on you. Tougher than it should have been. Or should be. I'm sorry-"

"Please don't apologize. All my pregnancies have been tough. I just... you know I got the short end of the stick when hormones were being passed out."

Danny laughed; he had missed her sarcastic, almost self-deprecating humor. He kissed her temple, "I love you." He felt like he had said that way too often that day, but he was just so happy to be next to her again.

"I love you more."

"I love you most." He kissed her sweetly at first, but they both persisted.

Linda was the first one to break the hot kiss, "not too much. I still have a headache."

He nodded, kissed across her forehead. "I'll let you rest some more."

*********

Danny groaned as he flipped through early morning tv channels. It was two in the morning, but his body was still telling him it was eight. He was restless, and didn't want to wake Linda with his tossing and turning. He had come downstairs, grabbed the whiskey, and plopped down on the couch.

"What are you doing down here?" Linda's voice surprised him. He looked to her; she was in an oversized nightgown, her hands on her round tummy. She looked like she had been through a wind tunnel.

"I couldn't sleep. Still on Fallujah time."

"It's eight in the morning there, isn't it?" She sat down next to him.

"Yeah." Danny didn't miss the yawn she tried to hide. "Why are you down here? You should be in bed."

"I can't sleep either. And when you weren't there, and weren't coming back... I got worried. So I came looking for you." She shrugged and rested her head on his shoulder. "Come to bed, please?"

He shook his head, "I'll just keep you up. And you need your sleep."

She yawned again, linked their arms together. "Then I'll stay here. What're you watching?"

"Nothing." It was true, there was nothing good on at two in the morning. "Linda, you need to be in bed."

"You too," she said, an equal stubborn tone in her voice.

He sighed, turned off the tv. "Fine."

"You can take something to sleep."

"Dad wouldn't have anything like that."

"Warm chamomile tea and melatonin tablets should do the trick. I know Mary-" she yawned again- "Mary has some."

He frowned when another yawn came, "let's get you to bed, first. I can make the tea."

"Make the tea first." She headed towards the kitchen.

"What, you don't trust me to really do it?"

"Absolutely not."