SLEAZE: A Hollywood Comeback Story (Book #1)

Chapter 31

I pulled into the parking lot at work the next morning having decided to buy a pair of running shoes. Exercise was supposed to be a good way to improve your mood, or so Melanie always said, and while dodging traffic and inhaling smog didn’t sound like it would be particularly great for my health, it had to be a better use of my time than waiting day and night for Sophie to call me back. I also figured that maybe if I got really lucky, a car would hit me and put an end to my self-induced misery.

I loitered in the shoe store across the street from my office during my lunch break hoping that I gave off the appearance of knowing what I was looking for while wishing that I really did. I stared at the wall of footwear, nodding occasionally whenever someone walked by, and took down the display pairs of the ones I liked. Every shoe had a brief write-up next to it with a star-rating and information that described it as being “ultra-plush” or “lightweight.” That all sounded great on paper but I had no idea what any of it meant, or if it really meant anything at all.

I was busy admiring a pair of neon green shoes when the son of King Kong appeared next to me. I glanced at the gigantic man, wondering how it was even possible for someone to have biceps twice the size of my torso. Even his muscles seemed to have muscles and every vein in his massive forearms pulsed visibly against his heavily tanned skin. I looked down at my own unimpressive arms and decided he must be on steroids.

“Can I help you?”

I jumped. The man was smiling and for a fleeting moment, I wondered if he’d caught me staring. “Ah, no, no, I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I’m just looking at the shoes.”

The man nodded. “Okay, well, my name’s Ian if I can help you with anything.”

He started to walk away and as he did, I saw that he was wearing the purple shirt that all of the employees in the store wore, complete with a handwritten name tag. “Actually,” I said, calling after him. “I think I might need some help.”

Ian turned back towards me and I noticed that his head appeared to be connected directly to his cartoonishly colossal shoulders. Even though I stood several inches taller than him, I couldn’t help but feel very small. I pointed at the shoes that I’d been looking at. “Uh, what do you think about these? I don’t really exerci--I mean, I usually wear a different brand but I’ve heard these are good.”

Ian nodded. “Yeah, man, these are the best.” He reached for the shoes, his cumbersome arms defying gravity as they rose above his head. “They’ve already got the support and stability built-in but they’re part of our customizable line so you can tweak ‘em to add, like, responsive sock liners and stuff. What are you using them for?”

I stared at him. That had to be a trick question. What else would I use running shoes for besides running? Was it that obvious that I was completely lost in the world of athletics? “Just running,” I said. “Maybe walking, I guess.”

Ian nodded again. “Okay, like hiking, yeah?”

I started nodding, too. “Yeah, that's what I meant.”

“In that case,” Ian said, waddling towards a different display shelf, “these are the ones you want. Here, give them a feel.”

He handed me one of the shoes and I turned it over in my hand, trying to keep my face neutral while I half-heartedly appraised it. They looked and felt exactly like the last pair. In fact, the only difference, as far as I could tell, was that this pair cost twenty bucks more.

“So, these are better for running?” I asked, unconvinced.

“Yeah,” Ian said. For not having a neck, his head sure could bob up and down. “Running and hiking, you can’t do better than these.”