Love and War

Chapter 19

It was a wildfire ripping through his mind--sorting through his memories like a jar of church candies. James grit his teeth tighter, trying to replay all of his memories over and over again--anything to keep them from slipping. 

Winnifred, George, Rebecca, Steve, Sarah, Mary...Bucky? Winnifred, George, Rebecca, Steve, Sarah, Mary, Bucky. 

His chest grew tighter; there was plenty of fresh air, but none of it felt like enough. 

Winnifred, Rebecca, Steve, Sarah, Mary, Buck. Winnifred, Rebecca, Steve, Sarah, Mary, Buck.

He could hear screaming from behind him, like a little echo. James knew that it was not an echo, but the energy frying his brain damaging his hearing. Winnifred, Rebecca, Steve, Sarah, Mary, Buck. Winnifred, Rebecca, Steve, Sarah, Mary, Buck. 

 When the machine powered down, the nurse injected him with another substance. He didn't even flinch as the thick liquid began to spread in his veins. It was nothing new to James, not after 5 days of sporadic experimentation.  

When they finally wheeled him to his quarantine room, his mind began to ebb and flow, grabbing at the remains of what was taken. After a few minutes of practiced recall, the memories came back. 

The first to cross his mind was a tale his mother used to tell him and his sister; the story of their father. George Barnes was a military man--he loved his country more than most anything else, save his family. When he met his wife, Winnifred, he had just been discharged. Sitting at a diner in Brooklyn, she came to him like an angel, offering him a sweet smile and kind words. James' mother had said that she hadn't done nothing more than offer the man a cup of coffee and a simple 'thank you' before he began following her around like a puppy. George would then go on to declare his undying love for her, offering marriage, only for Winnifred to make a counter offer--to take her dancing. 

Their love story had been something James and Rebecca heard hundreds upon thousands of times, and every time they'd seen the love and longing in their mothers eyes. It was that story that shaped James, like a fairytale; he'd always been a flirt, but he still hoped to find that special girl to take dancing. 

As he lied there recalling the tale, his mind drifted away to thoughts of Steve. Upon their first meeting James told Steve that story. It became a small pact between the two--they'd find the perfect girls and take them dancing together. When James had his first date, Steve stopped talking to him for a week, upset that he was going dancing with a girl that didn't last. It had taken some convincing, and several dollars spent on rides at Coney Island, before Steve forgave him. 

He must have looked like a drugged out fool--smiling and laughing to himself--to whatever doctor was watching him. But the memories kept coming in, the happy rides at Coney Island, milkshakes with Steve, bed time stories from his mother, memories of Rebecca. 

His mind's return to his sister, removed the smile from his face. He remembered the tears streaming down her face as she waved him goodbye. He remembered the joyful words she wrote informing him that she was getting married. The way her handwriting grew slanted and curly as she expressed her excitement. James could imagine the heartbreaking expression she'd make when she received his KIA letter--and it nearly caused him to fall apart. He'd never be able to see her again, never get to walk her down the isle, never get to threaten her husband against hurting her, never get to hold his niece. He'd never get to tell Rebecca how proud he was and how much he loved her. 

The thought was all consuming; James barely even registered when the doctors came into the room, scalpels at the ready, hands anxious to test their work.

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"Wait. so is it like permanent, or are you gonna go reverse-Popeye on me?" Mary grabbed his bicep, gently tugging him to a stop. Her fingers curled tentatively around the muscle in his arms.