The Art of Pretending

Chapter Nineteen

Blair POV.
•••

   I walk up to Natalie's room when I get to her house. When I open her bedroom door, I see her sitting on the bed.

   "Hey Nat" she gives me a sad smile. "What's wrong?" I get in bed next to her.

   "I did something, and fucked up."

   "What did..."

   "I'll tell you in a little bit. Tell me something to distract me though."

   "I don't really have anything going on."

   "You look upset about something, what is it?"

   "Ummm" Do I really want to tell her about Gray?

   "Is it about Grayson?" She reads my mind.

   "Yes" It's hard not having anyone to talk to about this. I feel like I can't talk to Emma because I don't want her to be uncomfortable. "I think I could see myself liking him."

   "Why is that a bad thing?" She asks

   "I'm scared. He and I both just need each other as friends, and I'm going to fuck it up."

   "You don't have to tell him."

   "Yea, I guess you're right."

   "What aren't you telling me?" She asks and I cave in. Telling her that it's all fake and that he's using me to get Ashlyn back. I also make her swear that she doesn't tell Zack.

   "Believe me I won't. But Blair, you can let him use you. If you like him, why are you helping him get another girl?"

   Why am I helping him? Because I like him? Or maybe because I want him to be happy. He and I both are sad, at least one of us should get the luxury of being happy.

   "I don't know." I say instead. I then go on to tell her about the cuddling, the comments, and even his brother.

   "I don't want to get your hopes up Blair, but it seems like he might like you back. Why else would he not want his brother to date to?"

   "Maybe you're right." I start to smile. Maybe he does like me, he acts like he does.

   "I cheated on Zack"

    "What?" I spit out my water. I turn my head and look at her with wide eyes. Her eyes start to water.

   "I found out he kissed another girl when we were on a break, and I got mad. I got drunk and went to a party. I don't remember a lot, but I made out with a guy. I told Zack right away, and he was pissed. I really fucked up Blair." She starts to cry and I hug her.

   "You'll be fine Natalie. You were drunk and upset, he's going to forgive you. You always forgive him. Just remind him of that."

   "I forgive him because I love him, I can't use that as a bargaining chip."

   "Fuck Natalie."

   "I know, but I'll figure it out. You can stay over for a couple of hours. I would offer you to sleepover, but I really need to be alone tonight."

   "Ok."

   I stay over at her house for three hours before going home. It's 11:00 pm by the time I get back.

   My heart drops when I see my dad's car in the driveway. Fuck. I get out and tip toe inside.

   "Blair?" My dad yells. I'm on the first steps of the stairs, when he yanks me down. So close.