why me?

23.

as i grew up,
my dad would tighten my ponytail
before i cannonballed into the neighboors swimming pool
he'd tell me how special i was after coming up for air
he would make me special lunches and play special movies
because i deserved it
because i was worth it.
I got less special when i hit double digits
instead of hugs i got hit
instead of special lunches i got special punishment.
i went from being beautiful to being a monster
from being special to being my mother's daughter
i look for the words in every man i meet.
every boy who will give me compliments and hold me
with beer on his breath
if only daddy knew
now i have to pay for compliments.
  -i wish you knew what you've done to me.

I know this is longer than the other poems i've posted but i had a lot to let out lol.Wish u all the best:)