Lost Memories

xxviii. charm bracelet

The common room was almost empty; nearly everyone was still down at dinner. Crookshanks uncoiled himself from an armchair and trotted to meet us, purring loudly, and when Hermione sat at the fireside he leapt lightly into her lap and curled up there like a furry ginger cushion. I brought my knees up to my chest and stared into the fire, thinking of nothing while Harry, Ron, and Hermione complained about how horrible Umbridge is.

"Don't start arguing again," said Harry as Hermione and Ron started to bicker about why Professor Umbridge was here, "you might disturb the princess."

Snapping my eyes away from the fire, I looked at Harry who held an annoyed face. Hermione and Ron looked confused as Harry nor I explained what happened after we'd been kicked out by Umbridge.

"I'm going to bed," I scoffed. "I'll do my homework tomorrow."

Standing up, I pulled my sleeves down and walked over to the spiral stairs.

"What's up with you?" Ron asked.

I shrugged, "nothin', just tired."

No one followed me as I made my way to the room. The room was empty, Lavender and Pavarti were both still at dinner and Hermione was downstairs. Rain pounded against the window as I changed out of my uniform and into loose pyjamas. The rain sounded calming, so I curled up on the window bench and stared at the falling droplets.

As the droplets fell, so did my tears. Today's events drained me more than I thought. I knew Professor Umbridge was cruel, but I hadn't expected all of her dismissive words. Along with Harry, who seemingly hates me. A cold breeze blew in from the slightly opened window, it felt nice.

After a few moments of solitude, the door to the bedroom opened revealing a confused Hermione.

"What're you doing over by the window?" she asked.

"Watching the rain," I sniffed.

"Have you been crying?" she sat at the other end of the bench.

"No, it's the rain," I lied.

"The window isn't opened enough to fall on your face– or come out of your eyes," pointed Hermione.

"You caught me," I said thickly as I tried to not cry, but it didn't work. More tears fell as I tried to calm down.

"Charlotte! What's wrong?" Hermione ran over to hug me. I shook my head in response and looked back out the window. "Lottie, tell me what happened. You've been upset all day!"

"I want to go home," I decided.

"W-what?"

"I don't want to be here anymore," I whispered looking up at Hermione in tears. "I miss my dad, I miss my friends, I miss not knowing this is real. . . I miss you guys being fictional characters."

"Charlotte..."

"T-that way you can't have any opinions of me and I can't upset or hurt you g-guys," more tears fell down my face, falling onto my knees.

"What do you mean 'hurt us'? You haven't hurt us. Who do you think you've hurt?"

"In the span of a year, I've hurt all three of you; but most recently, Harry," I confessed.

"How– What do you mean?" Hermione turned her face with confusion.

"Never mind, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing, you're clearly upset!"

"I'm pretty sure if you ask Harry, he'll tell you," I turned away from her.

"I want to hear it from you, Lottie," she said.