Valley of the Shadow

Chapter Four

The car ride back was silent for the first few minutes. Carmen was grateful for the fact that she couldn't blush, because she was absolutely certain her face would have been bright red with embarrassment. Even if Maria hadn't heard her, it was still embarrassing enough that she had such an epic meltdown in front of Switchblade. 

He certainly wasn't going to stop bothering her now. He would want to have another talk with her about it. Uhg. 

Maria was texting silently beside her, the very faintest bit of a smile popping up at the corners of her mouth every now and then. Carmen felt a slight sense of relief wash over her at the easy going vibe she was giving off. It seemed like everything was fine. 

Switchblade she could ignore for a few days. Maria? Not so much.

"I like Taylor." Maria said after a moment. "She seems really nice, and really easy to talk to." 

Carmen relaxed further, and let out a quiet sigh. 

"Yeah. She does seem nice. I'm just surprised Switchblade is dating someone who seems so… mainstream. And so young." Carmen paused to glance over at her again. "Is that who you've been texting?"

Maria looked briefly embarrassed, her cheeks the slightest bit pink. 

"Uh, yeah." She said with a nervous laugh. 

"That's good." Carmen said. 

"What do you mean?"

"You just seem to have a problem making friends at college." Carmen said. "I'm just happy for you."

And Carmen meant it. Despite being in college for a few months now, she still hadn't made any friends. Carmen had been trying not to bother her too much about it.

Maria groaned and hit her head against the seat. 

"It's because everyone on campus can tell that I'm a weirdo." She said, "Either that, or they're always stopping to ask me if I'm 'that lesbian from the news that lives with those vampires'. I just want people to act normally around me." 

Carmen turned her attention back to the road. 

"I think that's just what everyone wants." She said quietly. 

For a few minutes it was quiet again. She could hear Maria tapping at her phone's keyboard. 

Then, Maria asked;

"Hey Carmen, what does it mean when somebody says they are 'trans'?"

"Wha— huh?" Carmen asked, unsure if she had heard her correctly. "Trans?" 

"Sorry, is that a dumb question?" Maria asked with a nervous laugh. 

It didn't surprise her at all that Maria didn't know what transgender meant. Hell, Maria didn't even know women could orgasm whenever they first met. 

"Uh, no." Carmen said. "It's just something I wasn't expecting you to ask me."

Carmen took a minute to try and think of a way to explain it that might make sense to Maria. 

"You see, it's like— Say, someone is born a guy and then later they tell you that they're actually a girl—" 

Maria cut her off, still sounding confused. 

"Like they were a girl the whole time, or….?"

"I mean, yes, technically." Carmen said. "Like they were a girl on the inside the whole time, but now they're going to be a girl on the outside too." 

Fuck. Carmen cursed to herself. I don't think I explained that very well. Maybe I should take her to a pride parade or something. She needs to know more about being gay.