Cats Don't Go to Heaven

Patroclus

There comes a time in everyone's life when they need to learn the truth. That while all dogs go to heaven, not all cats do. This has something to do with the whole nine lives thing. However this is not a scientific article explaining why cats don't go to heaven, this is the story of two best friends, Patroclus the cat and Achilles the dog (yes they were named after the Greek hero and his closest companion).
In this story, while Achilles is a big part, he is not the star. That would be Patroclus.
Patroclus was a wily and clever cat, he was moderately lazy as all cats are, and his owner picked him up from the shelter as a kitten and doesn't know what kind of cat he is. The normal stuff for those who own cats. Appropriately enough, they know exactly what breed Achilles is and most of his lineage, they almost got him a pedigree. But that is beside the point.
The cat was a rather large cat, not fat, but one of the bigger breeds. He was all white except for the stripe of orange down his back and on his face. Patroclus was also very loving, always cuddling with his owner or Achilles and always purring.
The set up here really makes him out to be the perfect cat, huh? Now you are probably thinking how could a cat this good not go to heaven? Just wait.