How to Hide a Body (doppio x killer!gn!reader)

-(good ending)-

hahaaaaa

hi babes

i already know some of you wont be satisfied with the canon ending to this fic, so here's a non-canon one to soothe your worries and dissatisfaction

(as of right now, i'm unaware of a proper nb term for parent [i'd say parent but then it sounds weird] so i looked up and found that mother/father could be gender-neutral too, so when prompted, i'll put mother/father--mom/dad and you can choose whichever floats your boat)

SO, HERE'S HOW LIFE WOULD'VE WENT IF EVERYTHING WAS NICE AND RAINBOWS AND HAPPY AND-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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"this isn't fair." i grumbled, crouching in front of the little igloo made of cushions and pillows. "how come i can't get in the fort?"

"because only papa can come inside, and you're too big anyway!" cadavere whined, puffing out his little cheeks as he hugged a plush seal. 

great. my own son is as much of a prick as his father.

"you heard the king," doppio laughed, tossing a popcorn kernel at my face, "entry denied!"

"what if i brought you both some snacks, hm? would that make ya happy?"

"yeah, but i still wont let you inside!"

i sighed and sulked out of the dimly-lit room, decorated with anything and everything doppio seemed fit for a kid-- our kid, to be exact. 

the child's my little partner in crime, my sidekick, hence why i call him 'cadavere' and not his actual name, lampone. however, tonight, it seems he's a traitor no different than mista and the others... who insist on visiting every other weekend to spoil the brat.

what did mista and the gang do to betray me, you ask? they went out to eat without me last week. typical.

"hmm, what would aunt alessia think of your behavior?" i said aloud, as though i was talking to myself while leaving the room. "i don't think she'll take you over to that candy shop next time she visits if she hears of this..."

"huh?!" pfft, my manipulation at its finest. "w-wait!"

"no, i dont think i will... i might just go watch this barbie movie all by myself too.."

"mommy/daddy, dont you dare! i wanna watch it too!"

i huffed, forcing back an amused smile while walking over to my bedroom. "ahh, i'm all alone! my husband hates me, my child hates me... i guess i'll just watch all of the barbie movies by myself!"

"no, no! im coming too!" cadavere yelled, inching out of his fort and leaving doppio behind to laugh.

funny, the kid looks exactly like his idiotic dad. stupid pink hair, chubby cheeks littered with freckles, he even has his fucking brown eyes! well- that's a lie, he only has one brown eye, and the other green, but that's besides the point! it's still brown!

however, while he may have gotten doppios looks, the kid definitely inherited my personality and... questionable traits.

often times, i catch him manipulating poor doppio into giving him one more snack before bed, or into letting him watch one more episode of whatever show he's watching. other times, he's walking around with a bandana across his face and beating up his stuffed animals; his alias? 'cadavere vivente'.

its embarrassing to admit, but... one time, doppio walked in on me dressed up as morte, and cadavere in his own little costume he made for himself, pretending to fight crime. "oh, look! it's morte noscosta, and cadavere vivente! please, spare me!" i remember him saying.