The Last Goodbye

Chapter Seven

I was standing in front of my mirror. The girl in front of me looked unfamiliar. Her eyes were puffy from where she spent the night crying. Her once angelic smile that made everyone’s face light up was now replaced by a sad grin. Her once bright eyes that were full of life were now dull and the life was missing from them. The color had faded from her cheeks and she looked as though she just saw a ghost.

Wiping away the tears that threatened to fall, I picked up my brush and started to fix my hair. I was already wearing my black lace dress that my mother had loved so much. I grabbed one of her favorite gold necklaces as well as a pair of black pumps. Despite the way I was feeling, I looked good. My mother would be proud.

There was a slight knock on my door before it opened. I looked over to see my father standing there. He was wearing an all black suit. He looked so handsome and sad all at the same time. He lost the woman that he loves, the woman he’s been with for almost 30 years. This must be hard on him. He’s known her for such a long time. He’s had longer to love her. I can’t imagine what he’s going through right now.

“Are you almost ready to go sweetheart?” he asked with a sad smile on his face.

I shrugged, “I don’t think anybody’s ever ready to put a loved one in the ground but let’s go.”

I fought back the tears that threatened to fall. I wish more than anything this was easier to deal with but it’s not. I shook away the tears as I reached down to grab my bag. I stared at it and remembered the day my mom bought it for me. At least I can still look back on the great memories that we shared and smile.

I walked out of my room and headed downstairs. I still have no idea what I’m going to say at my mother’s funeral but I have a feeling whatever I say will not disappoint anybody in attendance. As I reached the living room I saw my grandmother and grandfather sitting on the couch. My grandfather had my grandmother wrapped up in his arms and rubbing circles into her back. They looked happy together, despite recent events.

“Heather sweetie come here.” My grandfather said as he saw me enter the room.

I walked over to him and sat down next to him. At that moment my hands had started to shake and they couldn’t stop. My grandfather settled his hand on top of mine. My hands still shook but I appreciated the comfort he tried to send my way.

“I know that you and your mother were very close and this is hard for you to do. At such a young age as well.” He said as he swallowed back tears, “We all eventually have to burry loved ones but to be honest, I thought I would be in the ground before your mother. No parent wants to bury their child and no child wants to bury their mother.”

He was right. My grandfather was almost eighty years old. Yet he was as healthy as a horse so we all knew he’d have at least twenty more years to go. Although he is healthy we all assume that our grandparents are going to pass away and then our parents and then it’s going to be our older sibling and next comes us. I’ve learned life doesn’t always go according to plan.

“What was is like when your mother died?” I asked wondering if he went through the same thing I was going through now.

He sighed, “It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. Yes she died of old age but it was horrible. I felt empty inside and I wanted nothing to do with anybody. I shut people out. My own children, my wife, my family and all of my friends, I couldn’t deal with being around them. Nobody knew what I was going through.”

He stopped and I could tell he was still sore over it. His eyes were glossy with tears that were threatening to fall, yet he continued. “Eventually though, I realized that this is how life works. You can’t stop death from happening. It is inevitable and it all comes to an end. It was my mother’s time. I wasn’t the only one who felt empty on the inside. My brothers and my father did as well. I realized that instead of shutting them out the best thing to do was spend more time with the people I loved before it was there time to go as well.”

mI blinked away the tears that were about to fall. I was starting to shut people out, my dad, my brother and even my best friend.

“Promise me that you won’t let your mothers’ death get in the way of your future. Death makes us stronger. No matter when it happens, yes we break down but when we stand back up we’re much stronger than before. Don’t shut people out, be true to yourself. Live your life like your mother would have wanted you to.” He finished.

I looked up at him and gave him a slight smile and squeezed his hand to reassure him that I wouldn’t. I hadn’t realized that my grandmother had left the room during our little chat. I wonder how she was doing with all of this. After all it is her daughter that she’s burying today. I hope I never have to bury my kids. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I mean I’m barely handling this.

“Is everyone ready to go?” My father asked removing me from my thoughts.

We all shook out heads and headed for the door.  Well here we go….

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This chapter is much shorter than the others have been but hey i can't have too much sadness. I promise y'all it gets happier then sadder and then happier again. i haven't decided if I want a happy or sad ending but we'll see! Let me know how you like it!! 

Nikki xx