The Last Goodbye

Chapter Six

I was laying on my bed thinking about the events that had happened today. My mom was run off the road and was in critical condition. I was called out of school and sat by her bedside. She died at 11:30 tonight. The one person that helped me through all of the rough times life threw at me, the one person who helped me see things through was gone. She would never help me get ready for prom or be there to watch me graduate. She wouldn’t be there for my wedding day or when my first child is born. She’s gone and she’s never coming back.

I realized that she was gone but no tears would fall. I felt empty and lifeless. There was something missing and it left a giant gaping hole where it used to be. There was nothing that could fix this. This hole would be here for the rest of my life.

A knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts. I looked up to see Timmy walk in my room. I could tell that he had been crying and this had hurt him as well. His eyes were red and puffy and his nose was red from where he been wiping at it.

“Hey.” He said as he sat down on my bed.

“Hi”

“Do you want to talk?” he knew how much losing our mother would hurt me.

“No I don’t.” I said as I laid my head in my lap.

“Look Heather, you’re going to have to talk about this soon.”

“You don’t think that I know that? Mom just died and people are already trying to get me to talk about her as if she’s been dead for months now!” I stared him down before continuing. “Just this morning mom had made us breakfast and kissed us goodbye. She said that she would see us when we got home! She died while we were in school! She didn’t see us when we got home!”

I was starting to get angry. I wasn’t sure if it was more towards myself or my mother. I know that this was not my fault and it wasn’t my mothers’ fault either but a part of me hated her for not keeping her promise. Well technically she didn’t promise to see us when we got home but it felt like a promise, the fact that she died and the promise was broken mad me angry.

“Listen this is not her fault! This was out of our control. Do not get mad!” Timmy had started to shout back at me.

I could tell that he was just as hurt by this as I was. I was probably more hurt than he was. I just didn’t want to tell him. He had our dad and our dad would help him through guy time but he can’t help me through girl times, that’s something our mother needed to be here for.

“Can you please just go?” I asked looking away from him.

Without another word he was gone and I was left to my thoughts.

Three weeks later.

I walked through my once empty house that was now filled with 20 to 30 people all dressed in black. The food that was laying everywhere looked unappetizing. I kept seeing sad faces and people who were concerned for my family. People kept coming up to me and telling me that they were so sorry for my loss. I just shook my head and said thank you.

I was in an endless loop at my mothers’ wake. Her funeral was tomorrow and I was asked to say a few words. I had no idea what I would say. I love my mother so much and she’s gone now. I still can’t believe that she’s gone. My mother’s casket was sitting in the middle of her study. People were going in and out just to see speak with her but when I went in everybody left. I was thankful for that; I needed to be alone with my mother.

I sat down on her favorite chair and just stared at her closed casket. I didn’t know what I was going to say at her funeral and now her body was lying right in front of me and I couldn’t think of anything to say. I stared blankly at her casket waiting for the words to come to me. Tears started to fill at the edges of my eyes. I was scared I was going to start crying again. I thought the tears had finally stopped but here I was on the brink of tears.

“Why? I know it wasn’t your fault but you’re gone. There’s nothing I can do. I just don’t understand why you had to go. Why now? I loved you so much and now you’re gone and never coming back. I just wish there was a reason. You were a good mother and wife and friend as well as a good daughter and sister. I just don’t get why a good person such as yourself can be taken away from your family so quickly. Why’d you have to leave me? I need you mommy.” The tears had finally escaped my eyes and the words wouldn’t stop flowing from my lips, “You said that you would see us after school. But now you’re gone and you’ll never see us again. We’ll never see you again. I wish I could hear your voice once more. Mommy I miss you. I need you back. I’m lost without you. I don’t know how to do anything right anymore. I don’t even know what to think anymore. It feels as though someone just ripped my heart out of my chest. I feel empty and cold and dead. I won’t be able to make it through life without you. I need my mommy.”

My head was leaning on her casket and my hands were holding me up. I sank to my knees as the tears started to fall faster and eventually I started to sob. I refused to let go of my mother’s casket. If I let go then she’d be gone forever. I need my mom. I wish this had never happened.

I felt hands wrap around my waist and lift me to my feet. My arms fell from the casket and wrapped around those familiar arms.

“Shhh, Heather it’s going to be okay I promise.” The familiar sound of Logan’s voice filled my ear as he leaned his head on my shoulder.

My sobs got even worse. My entire body was shaking and snot was running down my face. I’m pretty sure I was also drooling. I thought I was done crying but the tears have only just begun. Logan sank to the ground with his arms still around me. I laid there in his arms sobbing and sobbing. Every now and then Logan would mutter words such as “It’ll be okay” or “just let it out” or he would just stroke my hair and say “shh.” I loved my best friend.

Even though I was a complete mess he was still here to help me through it. I was thankful for that. My eyes started to get heavy but my sobbing didn’t let up. My mother was gone and never coming back. I now realize that. 

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Well this chapter is long and kinda sad ): I know I've been MIA for a while now but I'm back and I'm going to try and update a lot more ! But idk if that's actually going to happy but we'll see! 

Anywaysssss, vote and comment! Let me know what you think. I cried when I wrote this chapter just saying. 

I hope y'all enjoy it!!