poems

smile

they took the picture and told me to smile 

i did as they said and gave it my best effort 

"a real one morosness, common, i know you can do better,"

i began to panic. they saw right through me. 

how? how did i let it show? i'd been doing so good the whole time. 

the inside of my brain itched and I felt like crawling out of my skin. 

youre overreacting, moroseness

i told myself, over and over. 

though it never made a difference. 

i feared letting the wall down. i feared opening my heart to those around me again.

i trust no one. not even myself. and i think that also scares the hell out of me. 

i cant even trust myself.

why you may ask?

well...

 i'm my biggest hater, every fucking inch makes me want to smash the camera and crawl away.

but i'd rather die than let them know that, so i fix my smile and say...

"sorry, go again." 

-moroseness