Drowning

III. Treading Water

Tensions are growing, much like my desire for him. At this point, there was nothing I wanted more than for him to kiss me. There have been several chances, including the 2 at the mall, where he could've taken a chance. I don't know what my eyes were telling him, but I tried so hard to get my body language to say what my eyes struggled to.

Ryder, you're changing me and I don't know how to cope. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't met you. I know it sounds dramatic but you actually get me. You were the first person to come talk to me. I actually intrigue you. And you, me. You're special.

I can't tell him that. He'll freak and say something like "We don't even know each other," and he's right. He can tell me everything about him, down to the smallest details and it wouldn't mean I know him.

I don't know the real him until I see him in action, see how he handles life and how he lives. I need to understand him on a deeper level before I truly "know" him. And I don't know how long that's gonna take. Quite frankly, I only have but so much time before I throw myself on him.

After being released from the DS, I drive to Melanie's house. Melanie is my bestfriend from the orphanage. She was recently placed with a family and I was so happy to find out that not only did she live near the Watsons, but she also will be attending the DS next week.

It's good that I have a girl-friend to talk to about my problems with. I need help dealing with Ryder. I don't want to lose him as a friend. I just need to learn to manage my emotions. If I don't, I'll drown in them. Then again, he is a life-guard, maybe he'll save me.

Melanie just turned 17. She has long brown hair and a fit physique. She's a total babe but she can be a hot-head. It's seems I'm the only who can make sure she doesn't get to that state of mind. She's been sick lately, so I want to not only talk with her, but see how she's feeling.

When I get to her house, I grab her "Get Well Soon" card out of the glove compartment and sign it. Making sure it looks nice, I dab my finger in my water bottle and rub the water-activated seal. I hope she likes it. I press the doorbell and wait.

Her neighborhood is nice. Full of big smiles and playing children. I catch sight of one little girl staring at me. I wave at her and she takes her thumb out of her mouth to return the greeting. How cute.

Just then, Melanie opens the door and squeezes me tight.

"Oh Emma. I've missed you, girl"

Hugging her back, I reply "I've missed you too. How do you feel?"

"Better, better. Come on in," she waves me inside. "The folks aren't home, they went out for a while. I told them you were coming so don't worry about that," I nod and give her the card. "Aw, you shouldn't have. Thank you," and she hugs me again.

She directs me to the living room. "Make yourself at home, I'll go pop some popcorn and then we can talk about this boy of yours," she smiles and and disappears from the room, her ponytail bouncing as she exits.

I look around the room. Pictures of family are hung on the ivory walls. Whoever decorated this place has a nice color palette. I take my shoes off and place them near the door. When I pull out my phone, I have 5 unread text messages: all from Ryder.

*Hey

*Are you okay?

*You seemed a little bummed when you dropped me off at the mall last week?

*How come you're ignoring me?

*Did I do something?

YES! YOU DIDN'T KISS ME!

I respond.

*Hey Ryder. If it seems as if I'm ignoring you, I apologize. I'm not trying to. I am just going through something, that's all. I'll be fine. Thanks for caring.

I get a reply in a matter of seconds.

*I'll always care. Remember if you need me, I'm just a call away.

I DO NEEDYOU—TO KISS ME!

*Okay. thanks.

I put my phone away just as Melanie enters with a tray of popcorn and 2 drinks.

"It's sprite," I nod and take a huge gulp of it. I'm parched.

She gives me a bowl of popcorn and turns the TV down.

"So tell me about this guy, Ryder?"

"What do you want know?"

"What's he like? Why do you like him? Why do want him to swallow your face so much?"

I chuckle. "I don't want him to swallow me. I just want him to kiss me, that's all,"

"But why? What has he done to make you feel like this?" Good question, Mel.

"Well, he's different. I've never had a guy come up to me and like, wanna talk to me before. And he's caring. I don't know. He just gives me butterflies,"

Mel smirks. "You got it bad,"

I nod. She's right. I do have it bad.

"Well there have been times when we've been inches away from each other and I could feel that energy but before we could react, he'd break it and pull away. It's bothering me,"

I begin to tell her about when we first met and about the mall and the fro-yo date and pretty much everything. I tell her about when he grabbed my "squishy" and how his lips grazed over my skin mercilessly.

"I feel as if he's teasing me to be funny or hard to get and I don't like it,"

"What's wrong with a little hard to get?"

"I don't feel like dealing with it. I like 'em easy," she laughs at me.

"You want a pig?"

"No. I just want someone who wants me and doesn't put up a front about it,"

"Well all I can say is this. He seems interested. Like all of us, he's going through things. Maybe commitment issues is one of them. You say his mom left him after his dad died. Boom, abandonment issues. His mom, who he trusted, left him when he needed her the most. Makes sense, right?" I nod. "Okay then that's that. As far as you and your kiss, take your time. A kiss is something that's suppose to be magical, not rushed. Take it easy, babe. You'll be fine,"

When did she get so wise. She's younger than me yet she gave some pretty spot on advice. This is why I need her in my life.

"Thank you. I never thought about it that way," and I hug her.

"Anytime girl,"

And for the rest of the night, we watch movies and fantasize about our favorite celebs. Her parents come home around 4pm and fix us dinner. It's amazing. At 6, I pack up to go.

"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Richardson for allowing me to come over and stay with Melanie. I appreciate it,"

Mrs. Richardson hugs me. "Anytime deary, you were a delight to have at dinner. Be safe,"

"Thank you. Good-bye. Bye, Mel," They all wave as I pull out of the driveway and head home. When I drive past the DS building, I notice someone sitting outside.

I pull over into the parking lot and slowly get out of the car. Cautiously, I walk towards the person and the closer I get, the more I can notice about them.

Wavy black hair, broad shoulders.. leather jacket. It's Ryder!

Walking a little faster now, I put my car-keys in my pocket. I sit on the bench next to him and he's murmuring stuff.

"I did all I could, I tried. I tried to help, I tried, I tried,"

"Tried to help who, Ryder?"

He spins around quick.

My poor little life-guard, drowning in his own tears.