Kysterion twenty questions

Night out

Kyle and Stan go out on a night in the town. It has been a fun time. Obviously Stan drinks too much and Kyle has been left with the responsibility to drag his drunk ass home. Even in their drunken stupor they're less than thirty minutes walk away from home. It's a good walk to sober up a little. Not to mention with how much they spent tonight Kyle doesn't realy want the extra cab fair on top of it. Especially if they still want food in their fridge next week.

He wishes he'd just called a cab.

Kyle is not as drunk as Stan so even through his inebriated haze he notices a figure following them. Correction, two figures. He sees two and that's not the beers talking.

Holding Stan up by his waist with one arm so he doesn't fall while walking, he gets out his phone with the other, typing in 911. Before he hits call however he stops. The police might not take two drunken twenty year olds seriously, and who knows how long they would take to get here.

But he knows a caped hero who will. This is the exact kind of situation Mysterion had given him his number for. Though he did specify to only call if it was life or death. Kyle decides it isn't that serious yet. Perhaps he's more inebreated than he thought. After debating what to do and keeping an eye on the figures still following him he decides to tekst the vigilante instead.

Red: wit a friend @ //location// and say a few guys fpllowung us. help plz?

There. That should be coherent enough for the hero to figure out.

Mysterion calls Kyle almost immidiately. When Kyle picks up he at first only hears heavy footfalls and wind blowing into the microphone.

"Kyle?" Mysterion sounds worried though the red head barely picks up on it.

"Heeeyyy." Perhaps he's a bit too happy to hear the caped heros voice.

"I'm on my way." Mysterion assures. "Less that ten minutes from your location. Don't engage, try to shake them. There should be a pub nearby if its still open-"

"Is closed, sorry."

"Who're u callin?" Stans voice slurs in the phone. "Is that Ken? Hi Kenny I love you!" The noirette is wholly oblivious to the situation.

"Yeah sure it's Ken. Lemme talk to him a bit okay? You just concentrate on walking."

"Kaaaay."

"Don't go near any alleyways, they always strike in alleyways."

"Got it. Shit."

"What is it?"

"There's a third guy up ahead."

"Fuck they're gonna cut you off and corner you. Do. Not. Stop. Shove through if you have to. I'm almost there."

Unfortunately even with the added adrenaline sobering Kyle up quicker he is still too tipsy to put enough strenght in shoving the thug out of his way. Add to that his still drunk best friend and he can't run away.

The thug grabs his arm and roughly forces the two in, you guessed it, a nearby alleyway. The others following behind, closing off any means to escape.

Before the criminals could even begin threathening Mysterion leaps off the building. Casting shadow from above over them he looks like an angel of death. He lands on crook no. 1 feet first, taking him down to the ground. Everyone is stunned for a second.

Thug no.2 recovers first as she charges the vigilante with a knife. Mysterion steps back into the shadows dissapearing then reapearing behind her. He grabs the knife from her hand and knocks her out with a solid punch.

Crook no.3 tackles him to the ground, purple mist surrounds them both completely. When it dissapates all the thugs lay in a sorry heap on the floor.

Mysterion makes quick work of ziptying their wrists together to a pipe and calling the police.

~

Seeing Stans slowly stagger away from the alley, babbling incoherently Mysterion picks up the drunk man to carry him, princess style.

Kyle keeps pace besides him as he starts to walk, swaying only slightly.

"Thanks for saving me. Again."

"No problem. Perhaps we should get you a tazer." Mysterion adds under his breath. "Or a gun."

"Yeah maybe, I'll look into it. Don't like feeling helpless."

Stan moves and wiggles a bunch trying to roll out of the vigilantes arms.

"Sorry you have to carry Stan. I promise he's not usually like this."

Mysterion is quickly fed up with the behavior. "Sleep." Purple mist invades the noirrettes nostrills and he's out like a light.

"I dont mind. Getting you and Sam home safe is most important."

"Stan." Kyle corrected. "I feel like I told you about him before.. And didn't you once say you know everyone in South park?"

"...Right, your roommate. Makes getting him home a lot easier."

They got home safe relatively quickly. As Kyle tucks Stan into bed his mind is racing. Something about that exchange with Mysterion had been weird.

The next day Stan doesn't remember any of what happened, Kyle does. Probably for the best.